Damnation?
by Yomi
Summary: Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings. Coauthored with Azile LEARN THE REAL TRUTH! MUST READ!
1. Chapter One

**D A M N A T I O N ?**  
  
A Hunter x Hunter fanfic co-authored with fellow forum member and special title holder: Azile  
  
**Disclaimer: **Hunter x Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation  
  
**Author's Note:** Azile came up with the idea for this fanfic. Even though I was the one who penned the words, Azile's contribution, in terms of ideas, phrases and scenes, was substantial. Her inspirations and ideas came to her after reading "Salvation". If anyone wishes to dispute the content of the fic, please do so at my forum: and start a thread under "Fanfic Discussion". I do not particularly care for your opinions about our ideas on religion but feel that even though we have put this disclaimer, discussion about our lack of faith is inevitable, hence if you do want to rant, please do so at the forum instead. However, the review board is open to comments on whether you believe that our portrayal of the Hunter characters is accurate or not.  
  
**Summary:** Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings.  
  
**Chapter: **1 / 4

* * *

Yomi was in his office, lounging in his executive leather seat and flicking through the latest edition of 'Gundara Times' when his diabolically evil and insane secretary flung open his office doors with a terrific burst. He winced, eardrums smarting at the mini explosion that was Azile's entry and irritably looked up. She held in her hands an assortment of accessories, most prominent of which included a bundle of white fabric and something brown and furry laying on top.

"Your beard," Azile said, smirking. She held out the prop to him with an air of challenge. Yomi sighed and closed his magazine. If he didn't hear her out, she would never leave him alone and his hopes for a quiet, solitary afternoon would be dashed to pieces.

"And what would I do with a beard?"

Azile's eyes glittered with triumph. "Prove a point!"

"That I look like a circus freak?"

Azile gave an assured chuckle. "Don't worry. There's also this rubber mask you have to wear. I've got the technicians to come up with a holo-graphic device which can hide your ears and horns."

She toppled her load of accessories onto his desk and pulled the reluctant him to his feet. She hummed an odd tune as she held up the white fabric and tried to wrap it around him, now and then holding up his arms and positioning them as if he was a barbie doll.

"Do I at least have the right to know what point I have to prove?"

Azile's already broad grin excessively widened, revealing her four pairs of poison tipped fangs and the forked tongue darting between the wide gaps of her teeth.

"This is my spontaneous project. My aim is to prove that Gon, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio can not be brainwashed into the Cult of Kristianity."

Yomi plonked himself back into his chair and furiously rubbed his temples. He stared wistfully in the direction of his magazine. "Spare me from these boring science experiments, please!"

"No no no!" Azile rushed to haul him back onto his feet and frenetically struggled to get the robes back in place. "You see, _you _will make this interesting. You are going to dress up as Geezus Krist, Grand-bastard of Gawd, and evangelize to my targets. Here, I've even got your script prepared."

Both grunted as Azile jerked the rubber mask over Yomi's head and smeared glue over the rubbery surface to stick the beard on. Before he had a chance to protest, Yomi was steered towards the open office doors and pushed out into the corridors towards the dimension generating labs.

"Memorize the lines and get your flabby arse over to Ningenkai this instant!"

Yomi objected to the unfavourable description, all of a sudden quite self-consciousness about the perkiness of his behind, but almost tripping over the folds of his robe instilled another thought.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," he grumbled, flapping his arms in a vain attempt to locate his hands through the seemingly endless lengths of fabric, "but I was under the impression that fashionable humans _don't_ dress like this."

Azzy rolled her eyes, as if the answer was so bloody obvious that Yomi had to be senile or suffer from dementia to even ask. "You're Krist for the day. You've got to look the part, so thank me for not making you carry a heavy fibreglass T to complement your outfit. I want to know the outcome. _Be convincing!_"

* * *

First Test Subject: Leorio

According to Azile's databanks, Leorio was the tall man with the short hair, taking energetic steps, strutting in a purposeful manner towards the shade of an oak with his lunch in hand. He was alone. Perfect, thought Yomi, partially dejected for having to carry on with the ridiculous act in the first place, and partially relieved that there was not an extra human around to ridicule him.

The moment Yomi locked his (false) eyes with Leorio and took a step towards the seated man, he heard a groan, a sound so filled with despair you'd think the prisoners being tortured in Gundara's dungeon were happy folk. Leorio's scratching of the back of the head became more intense as Yomi closed the gap with Azile's first target, ending with a lava-hot glare.

"Damnit! I just want to have lunch without being bothered by you horribly intrusive people. Shoo! I'm not interested!"

This baffled Yomi, for he hadn't even opened his mouth to speak yet this Leorio was already irritated. Was this really an experiment, or a carefully arranged prank by Azile for her sadistic humour? He shook his head and tried hard not to dwell on the latter, putting his faith into the scrap of humanity left within Azile not to torture him thus.

So Yomi mentally scanned through the script in search for the right words.

"My son – "

As soon as those words had been uttered, Leorio gave an exasperated sigh and banged the back of his head against the rough tree trunk at regular intervals. It appeared that he had abandoned resistance and was hoping that Yomi would go away and leave him be as soon as his speech was over. Or maybe Yomi might leave after seeing torrents of blood leak from the wound that he was indirectly the cause of.

Yomi cleared his throat and started again.

"My son, you must be tired – "

"Six hour open heart surgery does that to you," Leorio growled, then sank his teeth in for a vicious bite of his sandwich.

"– you feel that your life is incomplete –"

"What's the point of life if you're not working towards a goal? Of course my life is incomplete, you dolt," said Leorio with his mouth full. He wasn't particularly too ashamed about the fact that his particles of chewed food sailed across the air and landed on Yomi's clothing. Yomi shuddered and ploughed on, sweating inside the inferno that the rubber mask became on a hot and humid day and swore bloody murder. One thought pervaded his mind: get this over and done with.

"– and there is this empty void which you can't fill no matter what. There is one person who can fulfil your life, and that person is I, Geezus Krist, for I am everything and anything that you need to satisfy that emptiness you suffer in life. I am the Almighty, I am the healer, I am the all forgiving, I –"

Leorio rolled his eyes and held up a hand for Yomi to stop. "Look, I've heard it all before, ok? I see your guys over at the cancer ward all the time. You might be able to comfort the terminally ill, but I really don't need this. I've actually got too much on in life right now to fix a religious attachment to the list. So take your good intentions elsewhere, ok?"

The script referred Yomi to Dialogue B.

"My son, I am here to comfort you, to help you understand the world's injustices, to let you know that everything in this world happens for a reason. I am aware that your friend passed away because his poverty didn't allow him to obtain the necessary assistance – "

"For goodness sakes, Krist, I'm only trying to have lunch. Must you talk about dead people when I am eating?"

"I know you're sad, my son, your friend's death was a miserable tragedy, something unfair and unjust, a death that should have been avoidable, and so you're also angry – "

Leorio leapt to his feet. "I got over it. I got back on my feet, joined the Hunter Exam, am officially a hunter who knows and understands nen, and will be a doctor who does pro-bono work for children in the poor countries.

"Whether I'm sad or not is frankly none of your business. I don't need your pity, and even if I am sad, I am strong enough to transform that energy into creating a career that is productive and good. If making me wallow in my miseries is the best you can do to make me vulnerable to convert to your faith, I'd say you are insensitive, and offensive to use the name of my dead friend to further your cause!"

"There's so much anger in you my son!" Yomi mentally blanched at the words he was forced to utter. "I can see you are in greater need of a saviour and my love than I first assu – _argh_!"

Yomi hit the floor with a solid crunch. The cramped confines of his rubber mask had distorted his sense of perception, ruined his judgement and reduced his hearing down to point oh-two percent. He didn't hear the blow coming, hence coped it square on the jaw and staggered two steps backwards. That wouldn't have been too bad, had he not stepped on his dress, stumbled, then gracelessly crashed to the ground like a felled tree.

He moaned at his ill fortune.

Judging by the sting and the force with which his teeth grated together when struck, Yomi judged that there was nen behind that punch. After slowly counting to thirty, he sat up, retrieved the clipboard from inside his clothes, and checked the boxes that corresponded to the situation.

(X) Appealed to Target's vulnerabilities.

(X) Offered to pity the Target

(X) Was rebuffed by physical violence.

Yomi flipped the page over to the next target, Kurapika, but balked at the fine print under Leorio's name.

If Leorio was supposed to be the weakest of the four, what would Kurapika do to him if he too resorted to violence?

On a hot and sunny day, in the cooling shade of a great oak, an old youkai sobbed.


	2. Chapter Two

**D A M N A T I O N ?**  
  
A Hunter x Hunter fanfic co-authored with fellow forum member and special title holder: Azile  
  
**Disclaimer:** Hunter x Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation  
  
**Author's Note: **Azile came up with the idea for this fanfic. Even though I was the one who penned the words, Azile's contribution, in terms of ideas, phrases and scenes, was substantial. Her inspirations and ideas came to her after reading "Salvation". If anyone wishes to dispute the content of the fic, please do so at my forum: and start a thread under "Fanfic Discussion". I do not particularly care for your opinions about our ideas on religion but feel that even though we have put this disclaimer, discussion about our lack of faith is inevitable, hence if you do want to rant, please do so at the forum instead. However, the review board is open to comments on whether you believe that our portrayal of the Hunter characters is accurate or not.  
  
**Author's Note 2: **As mentioned above, the overriding aim of this fanfic is an attempt to properly characterize the Hunter x Hunter characters when they are confronted by circumstances similar to the events in Salvation (notice that this fic is grouped under Humour/Parody). If you haven't already understood by now, the distortion in the spelling of Kristianity, Geezus, Lawd, etc as well as the alteration of some key facts, was an express act to direct any of my 'faithless' opinions on the Cult of Kristianity. You notice you can draw parallels and similarities between the Cult and the religion. I frankly do not deny the derivation, but I submit that my derivation has been altered substantially so as to make the Cult of Kristianity totally separate and distinct to Christianity - not that you'd want to be associated with this loathesome Cult who preys on vulnerable people anyway.  
  
Kurapika makes some arguments in this chapter. The emphasis should be placed on the act of clinical, relentless arguing, which we believe is in Kurapika's character. You can disregard the contents of his words if you so desire. Kurapika incidentally gave us a chance to expouse our own beliefs and opinions, through him, in a way that was characteristic of him, we hope.

As for the passer by who contested our facts and told us to do research - if we wanted to launch a scathing criticism against Christianity, we'd write an essay, and be gorging ourselves on newspaper articles of pedophile priests being protected by the church hierarchy, but seeing as we're here to entertain, I'm going to use my authoritative creative licence to create a Cult that will act as the vehicle of humour. Thank you for finding this fic funny anyway. I find it almost difficult to believe that you can find a fic funny but consider the opinions, which made the fic funny, to be indecent. Maybe you could explain how that works in your next review.  
  
Otherwise, I am very much surprised that people found the fic funny. Yomi is starting to get the idea that perhaps there's a funny bone the size of a little finger in him somewhere. As for the rant of the metafictive qualities of this fic, I'll leave that for the author's notes in the next chapter.  
  
**Summary:** Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings.  
  
**Chapter: **2 / 4

**

* * *

**

Yomi fanned himself and fished inside his robes for his sleek, silver cellular phone, latest Gundara model, thumbing the number for Headquarters with expert familiarity. He panted inside the mask, but hesitated in ripping it off in case he couldn't fit it back on again, knowing how tight and uncompromising it was. At present, insufferable heat was still preferred to the fiendish surprises Azile would leave in Gundara's main server if he failed to finish this task.

He tried to slip a finger under the mask to allow some fresh air in there, prune-like his skin must be by now, but gave up. Someone picked up the phone after three rings on the other end and began with a casual "yello!"

"Azile, I think we should rearrange this plan of yours."

"Rearrange what?" his secretary barked.

"Well," Yomi grimaced, studying his list of checked boxes on the questionnaire with a perplexed frown, "I think this whole aggressive push-sale approach isn't working. I've been punched once already and – "

"Why didn't you duck?"

Yomi growled. "How can I duck when I'm blind in this stupid getup? Attention everyone! If you want to defeat Yomi, suffocate him with a rubber mask because absolutely no sound or smell can penetrate through the material and that leaves me no different to a pigeon in water!"

"The mask stays!" Azile growled back with commensurate ferocity. "Now what's this about the aggressive push-sale of the Cult?"

The blind youkai fell back to cooling himself with the sheet of paper and stretched his legs out in front of him. "Well, take Kurapika for example. I mean, if I got a king hit for pressing that 'dead friend' point with Leorio, do you expect me to return to Gundara with my limbs intact if I start dishing out judgment on Kurapika?"

"The key lies in the conviction! You have to persuade him that he's guilty of some crime. You have to induce him into thinking that he's a bad, worthless person for making his revenge personal – "

"Good on him," Yomi murmured in approval. He found his fingers stroking the artificial beard, and slapped that hand away. Adamant that the beard was an appendage that did not suit him, he was damned if he was going to develop the habit of stroking an imaginary beard after he burned the costume and pissed on the ashes.

"Your opinions on moral relativity don't matter. Get out of your Mr. Nice Guy mentality – you've got to fit into the part of the ruthless soul collector. The Cult of Kristianity is an intolerant, imposing Cult that allows no dissenting opinion – they used to burn unbelievers.

"Put pressure on your targets," and at this point, Azile began hissing and spitting. Yomi imagined that her forked tongue would be darting in and out between her pointy teeth in anticipation of tasting fear. "Make them feel like they're utterly unworthy to live on this earth without the Cult's assurances, convince them that they've been utterly ignorant to _the truth_. Once their fragile inner psyche is naked before you and they're nothing but insecure and broken creatures, move in for the kill and control their minds by instilling the fear of _Hell_ into him."

"It'd probably be more effective to teach them to fear _you_," Yomi muttered.

"You just do your job, ok?" Azile snapped irritably, huffing and puffing at the insult. "Now remember, you haven't been near pushy enough. Kurapika is a cold, tough nut to crack. You'll need all your wits to get through this guy and impound into his brain that he's an ignorant, sinful, dirty little thief who will suffer the eternal furies of _Hell_ if he refuses to sell his soul to us and embrace Gawd!"

Azile finished her speech with grandiose relish then slammed the phone shut, leaving Yomi to wonder why she wasn't the Overlord of Greater Makai right now with that insatiable ambition pushing her mind to brink of insanity.

A sigh whispered past his lips, and he stood up, wearily dusting his clothes free of the broken, brittle shells of acorns that he'd crushed with his weight. He had a premonition that Azzy's silly experiment would all end in scratches, bruises and fractures – on him, not the experiment.

* * *

Second Test Subject : Kurapika

Admittedly, the shopping complex was a welcome contrast to the heat of the outdoors. Air conditioners were switched on to full blast, and standing under the chilly air enabled you to feel the sweat evaporating off your back.

Yomi had been parked underneath one of vents for around ten minutes, reveling in the sensation of feeling dry and comfortable again when the high pitched squeal belonging to an adolescent teenage girl made his ears throb and head ache.

"Kurapika! Keep up! I still haven't gone through the lingerie section yet!"

"Boss, don't you think you're too young to need lingerie?"

It was a rigid and formal voice that should have belonged to someone much older, someone who had seen two dozen lifetimes of bloodshed. In Makai, it would be the voice of a hardened survivor, but in Ningenkai, Yomi supposed that this boy was viewed by his compeers as a walking icebox.

__

_Persuade him that he's a bad, worthless person… impound into his brain that he's an ignorant, sinful, dirty little thief who will suffer the eternal furies of _Hell_ if he refuses to sell his soul to us and embrace Gawd._

Yomi did his usual breathing exercises, visualized himself immersed in icy waters and imagined that his world was quiet and peaceful and his life naively perfect. He would have to forfeit his entire dignity to pull off the bastard act, which was quite ironic, given that he was disguised as the Grand-bastard of Gawd. So with the grit of the teeth and an extra deep breath, he summoned his youki to amplify his voice across the floor of the shopping mall and delivered his righteous condemnation.

In retrospect, the mask was a very good idea. At least his identity would be kept secret with so many eyes about to bore into his face.

"_Kurapika! Repent for ye have sinned! Or face the wrath of Azil – I mean – the Prince of Darkness! Who is not a cool guy and does not live a cool place!"_ his voice reverberated across the shopping complex, rattling the large sheets of glass windows, for each and every person to hear. Shoppers' attention was generally divided into two questions: one, who was this bloody nutcase garbed, up to the beard, like Geezus Krist minus his fibreglass T, and two, who was this sinner, Kurapika, that Geezus spoke of and threatened to unleash Azil – I mean – the Prince of Darkness against?

Neon tugged at her bodyguard's sleeve and studied the image of Krist dubiously. "What do you think he wants to do to you?" she whispered. "A plague of boils, or a pox on your house?"

Kurapika patted her hand and motioned for Bashou to stay by Neon's side to grab her and run should the raving lunatic prove to be a decoy in a kidnap or assassination attempt. He assured his party that he could deal with the man, leaving them wringing their hands in worry, then made directly for the man still cursing him with fist-sized haemorrhoids and a mouth full of rotting teeth if he did not confess his sins, suffer the guilt and beg for his forgiveness.

The chains on his hand rattled, in sync with his emotions, but he quelled them down in case Yomi was just another mentally unbalanced man obsessed with the apocalypse. Wasn't it enough that the serial pest destroyed the Olympic chances of gold for the Brazillian marathon runner in the name of their damned Cult? Would they not rest until they ruined his life and career as well, and in a shopping mall to boot?

Kurapika yanked Yomi away to the most secluded place he could think of – the men's toilets, and banged on all the doors to check that there was no one inside the cubicles before locking the door to the bathroom.

"If you don't want to fully realize the horror of what a red-eyed Kuruta can do, you better tell me how you know my name. Are you a new Genei Ryodan recruit?"

Beneath the mask, Yomi was smiling with appraisal for the young man's calm. He had the same cold exterior that the infamous youko carried in his younger days, and the same calculating mind that ticked so loudly he could almost hear the thought process. But Azile's script had to be followed, the since the consequences of disobeying were unimaginable, Yomi sank further into bastardization.

"Sinner! Murderer! Ye have no place in society and your tainted soul is not fit for the glorious splendour of paradise in the afterlife! Condemned you are!"

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. "And?"

The nonchalant reply caused Yomi to stumble in his tirade. "Er…ye shall be terrorized by nightmares; guilt will eat away at your conscience for the rest of your miserable life; I curse you with unhappiness and call upon your inner demons to never give you peace and closure until you feel remorse and beseech my Grandfather, the Lawd Gawd for his mercy!"

"Why should I justify my actions to your gawd? My vendetta with the Genei Ryodan is my business. I'll deal with it. So, is there anything else you'd like to add?"

Again, the indifferent and abrupt manner of the young lad made Yomi panic over the ineffectiveness of the words. Were they not emotive and emphatic enough to deliver home the punch that was going to shatter the young man's self-confidence? His chest heaved and he racked his brains as he proceeded onto Dialogue C. He erased the harsh, accusing tone and replaced it by one of greatest sympathy and understanding.

"Then you must be burdened so, so terribly by your troubles and it pains me to know that you have sleepless nights. Poor man. Pitiable boy. You who have endured what no one has endured and cannot seek the solace of another who understands your pain.

"My son, I can offer you comfort, a way to inner peace and help you understand that everything that has happened was Gawd's will and Gawd's plan. If you confess your sins, you will have the absolution of Gawd and forever be warm and safe."

"You are treading on extremely dangerous waters," Kurapika warned, his fists tingling by both sides at the mere allusion to the Kuruta massacre. "I suggest that you do not accept liability for the genocide of my tribe. If your plan was to fuck up my life by killing, and mutilating thereafter, the ones I love, my vengeance will be more swift and terrible than the demons in your nightmares."

Yomi sighed dramatically. "Oh, pity the unbeliever. You need to believe in I, Krist your lord and saviour, and the almighty grace and power of my lawd grandfather, to understand that there was a reason for the deaths of the Kuruta folk. Their death was a test. Yes! A test that the all-wise and just gawd gave to you so that you would be guided to the doors of the Cult of Kristianity to seek your answers, and absolution, and finally rest in my arms."

"Not only did that sound perverted, do not tell me that I'm just a pawn in your gawd's sadistic little afternoon soap opera," said Kurapika testily. He had to cross his arms to contain his tempest emotions. "The Genei Ryodan are responsible for the annihilation of my people. If your gawd were so just, why haven't I seen the lightening bolts coming from the heavens to strike those murderers where they stand?"

"Do not seek to question the will of gawd!" Yomi inwardly cringed. "He works in mysterious ways that the limited human mind cannot possibly hope to fathom."

"Right," drawled Kurapika, "that's what all charlatans say when asked a difficult question. Blame it on the fantastic and that which cannot be scientifically proven. Blindly accept faith. That's not a good enough answer for me."

Yomi felt the overwhelming compulsion to clap and his chest almost burst from the effort of restraining his applause. But once again, the voiceover of Azile cut a vicious path through his approval and the reality of the task at hand prompted him to continue with his lines.

Really, it was bad enough that he was playing Grand-bastard, and now, he had to preach his bastardry in the men's toilets with the smell of chlorine so powerful that it managed to penetrate through his rubber mask, which had, so far, successfully filtered out everything else. How degrading did this gig have to get?!

He said, in a soft and patronizing manner, which really was degrading for the person on the receiving end, "Don't you believe that Gawd transcends the heretical art of science that we have allowed ourselves to be corrupted by? If so, I'm very sorry to hear that, but if you don't believe in Gawd, you will be burned by the eternal flames of _Hell,_ and immortal worms will continuously eat away your body and you'll have be stare into the putrid face of _Loosifer_, the snake, and scream forever more."

Pause for a breather and to let the nightmarish depiction of _hell_ sink in. According to the script, which was Azile's distillation of the essence of the Manual, once the Target was saturated with the fear of the raging infernos, move in for the kill and dangle the sweetener, which would act as a lifesaver to the target drowning in fear. It was almost laughable – he threw Kurapika into the ocean of guilt and fear, then turned the other cheek to reveal the saviour who would pull him back onto shore for the price of his allegiance and soul.

In some respects, Yomi mused during this dramatic, and fast becoming pregnant, pause, the Cult of Kristianity was impressive. On the one hand, they sought to exploit human emotional weakness, shamed humans into submission, and then propose that all is ok if they sold their souls to Krist and sang jazzy, upbeat songs abut the Lawd on an anointed day of the week in a specified building. Kristianity provided both the poison and the antidote, and on becoming familiar with the Cult's modus operandi, Yomi had to admit that he was no longer surprised that people would tend to react violently when he administered the poison that is shame and guilt of sin on the target.

Observing no visible reaction, Yomi grudgingly carried on his flailing performance, spread his arms and put a homely smile on his face. "Receive I, Geezus Krist, Grand-bastard of Gawd, as your lawd and saviour, and I will take your sins unto myself and ye shall be welcome in Paradise, a place of plenty, where no tears will be shed and the music of laughter is all you'll hear."

Kurapika's eyebrow twitched. The proposition was ridiculous, and it was insulting that Krist expected him to buy it. Even three year olds these days have more sense. He simulated Yomi's condescending tone, with a touch of admonition, and replied:

"I mean no disrespect, Geezus, but my tribe has its own religion, which is naturalist and personal with no established hierarchy and certainly no threats or intimidations for those with other beliefs. I'm comfortable with what I have, and I answer to my conscience, to myself and to the law of whichever jurisdiction I am currently passing through. I believe it is natural for evil to exist in this world so that we can truly appreciate the beauty of goodness. I think I'll become desensitised to and will devalue the perfection of Paradise rather quickly if there is no dichotomy."

Yomi silently wept. It was evident that his conviction was like butter dissolving into liquid fat on Kurapika's sizzling hot plate of self-belief and inner strength. No matter how many pebbles he threw, the two metre thick stone walls of Kurapika's inner psyche could not be damaged.

Yet the play must go on, or the wrath of Azile would be monstrous indeed.

"Ignorant fool! Dirty, sinful man!" Yomi made his voice boom again in the confined space, and the polished tiles had an uplifting effect and resonated his voice for an additional five seconds. His Finger of AccusationTM was levelled at Kurapika's impassive face. "Do you not know that my Gawd is the one true gawd? You worship a false idol, a mortal prophet who cannot compare to the Almighty Grace of my Grandfather! Heathen! You do not fully repent! Then so be it! I shall pray for you, but _Hell_ hath marked you for your unfortunate end and Eden will be denied to you ever more!"

The steel ball hanging on the bottom of Kurapika's chain lashed out, more deadly than striking snake, missing Yomi's face by a bare millimetre, and smashed the mirror into a thousands of splinters and shards above the basin behind the youkai. Yomi froze. The muffled chimes of the chain dimly reached his ears, but apart from that, he had no ability to ascertain the precise location or movement of the weapon. His pulse quickened.

"_How dare you insult the memories of my clan?_"

Because I'm being extorted by the Paragon Bitch! Yomi wanted to wail.

Kurapika coldly continued, "You've sought to judge me, taunt me, intimidate me and cajole me into a false sense of security with your faceless Gawd. When I told you that I harbour my own beliefs, you ridiculed and belittled my belief?! You intolerant cretin. You selfish, ugly little creep. My conscience is in tatters already. I'm trying mend it, and you think it's acceptable to rub salt into my wounds just so I can become addicted and dependent on your fanciful remedies?!"

Yomi's shoulder's slumped. This was his last ditch attempt. "You just need to show remorse for your crimes and Gawd will forgive you and love you and you will be a happy human again."

The chain slithered back to the side of its owner as Kurapika sighed and the crackling tension in the atmosphere disappeared. "I don't need the forgiveness of Gawd. Your prepositions and promises of love and forgiveness…they mean nothing to me. It is not the forgiveness and love of gawd that matters – that would be too easy if all I had to do was feel remorse. What's easily gotten is not valued and thus not treasured. I need to earn the reassurance and respect from the people who are around me now: from my friends, my peers to my work colleagues. They are the ones who matter to me, it's the opinions of those living that affect my life and how I live."

"How can you turn away from my offer of salvation?" Yomi shook his head as was required of him by the script. "I will be stapled to the T for your crimes and relieve you of the guilt that you suffer under the weight of. My lawd grandfather will exchange the burden of your guilt with a light collar, hot pink in colour if you like, if you give yourself to him. It's a fabulous bargain."

He heard Kurapika's footsteps draw near, and he flinched, bracing himself for a blow on par with Leorio's. Kurapika however, patted him on the shoulder.

"In this world, there's nothing that I believe more than individual responsibility. You do the crime, you do the time and try to rectify the consequences of your actions after you learn of your mistakes. There's no easy way out, nor should there be – such is the way of life. My life and my destiny have been fashioned by my own hands – I won't wiggle my way out of this grave that I've dug for myself by unloading my responsibilities onto this 'gawd' or you, Krist, who got stapled to the T supposedly for my crimes. Thanks for the thought, but I love my free will, hence my crimes are my own and I will deal with them myself on my own accord and answer to my own expectations and conscience.

"You entice me with an unrealistic perception of the way the world should work and I believe only selfish people would find appeal in allowing a scapegoat to suffer for their own wrongs or fight their battles. I will never accept that. And you should not be so foolish to take humanity's sins upon yourself just so we can live irresponsible lives and look to you again if we stumble. You encourage reliance and dependency. I advocate naturalism and individuality and come what may in my life, it's unique and it's mine, and _that_ is all that matters."

Yomi's bottom lip trembled. His voice sounded so weak and childish. "But what of the wrath of the infernos of _Hell_ – it is very real, and it not a cool place and Loosifer is not a cool guy. You will be sent there and punished for not believing in me."

Kurapika shook his head in pity for Yomi. "No, that's only your belief. I hope that in the future, you'll keep your belief to yourself and not seek to impose it on people who don't ask for it. I must leave to chaperone my boss now. Take care, Krist, and take a good hard look at the people you want to be stapled for. If anyone is to be condemned, they are those who would want you to pay for their crimes. Selfishness should not be rewarded and it was very unscrupulous of the Cult of Kristianity to appeal to that side of humanity in order to attract followers. Remember, selfishness only begets ungrateful freeloaders. I urge you to reconsider your ethics."

Yomi's collapsed onto all fours and he hung his head in shame. The click of the bathroom door closing indicated that Kurapika had already left, more staunch and resilient in his own personal beliefs than ever.

He had been put to disgrace by a teenager. He had sought to pass judgement on the young boy, tried to drive the artificial stake of guilt into him in order to extract a remorse that would have rendered the boy vulnerable to further manipulation. And in the end, Kurapika replied with eloquence and civility under the barrage of his prejudicial insults.

Maybe another punch, to the other cheek, would have been preferable.

* * *

**Author's Notes 3: **There was a heck of a lot of talking in this chapter. I try to blame Kurapika, because he's quite a long-winded guy if you think about it. Anyway, to compensate for the lack of action and humour for this chapter, there will be an interlude next in which Azile allows Yomi to evangelize to people other than the four Hunter characters.


	3. INTERLUDE

**D A M N A T I O N ?**  
  
A Hunter x Hunter fanfic co-authored with fellow forum member and special title holder: Azile  
  
**Disclaimer:** Hunter x Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation  
  
**Author's Note:** Azile came up with the idea for this fanfic. Even though I was the one who penned the words, Azile's contribution, in terms of ideas, phrases and scenes, was substantial. Her inspirations and ideas came to her after reading "Salvation". If anyone wishes to dispute the content of the fic, please do so at my forum: and start a thread under "Fanfic Discussion". I do not particularly care for your opinions about our ideas on religion but feel that even though we have put this disclaimer, discussion about our lack of faith is inevitable, hence if you do want to rant, please do so at the forum instead. However, the review board is open to comments on whether you believe that our portrayal of the Hunter characters is accurate or not.

**Author's Notes 2:** This chapter contains more action than the previous, but unfortunately, we cannot guarantee that it will be more humourous than the previous chapter.

**Summary: **Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings.  
  
**Chapter: **Interlude

* * *

It was in the process of washing his hands, to rid it of the sweat that had dried there shortly after the showdown with Kurapika, that his cellular phone rang again. Yomi ripped one of the paper towels from the dispenser and hastily dried his hands, flinging the last persistent drops of water onto the ground then answered the call.

"So," came Azile's enthusiastic voice, followed by a series of crunches, "how did it go?"

He let his defeat translate into a moan. "I was almost attacked again and was thoroughly humiliated. Your tactics just aren't working."

"Bullshit. This is the way to do it. You have to break your targets and make them beg for _your _pity."

"Well," Yomi countered hotly, infuriated by the way Azile ordered him around so casually and making it sound like he had stuffed up big time. The fact was, he had followed her instructions down to the last apostrophe, and he was rebuked, with violence and with outrage. "The problem with your plan is that you anticipate that my targets would beg for pity and love if I crush them with enough guilt. But the two I've evangelized to are those 'I-rely-on-myself-even-if-I'm-knee-deep-in-shit' type! They don't need pity! _I_ need pity!"

"Then you obviously aren't doing a good enough job of pounding the enormity of their sins into their head," Azile concluded. The way each word managed to ooze some derogatory innuendo was her one prized skill.

"_I'm constantly repeating that they're sinners!_" Yomi cried, then abruptly clenched his mouth shut and forced calm and only spoke when he trusted his voice not to reach the upper echelons of the soprano again. "I'm appealing to their hurts and cutting open their scars and stamping on their damaged conscience. They only seem to get more and more offended. Angry people spit your words back into your face like mouthfuls of rotten apple! Angry people aren't looking for pity! They're looking for ways to break my teeth and rupture my liver!"

"Then you haven't truly impressed upon them the terror of hell if they don't believe us."

"Azile, you could be drunk and unconscious and still laugh at that threat. And that's the _other _problem! You're trying to coerce….let me see here….a _top ranking underworld bodyguard_ into accepting the Grand-bastard of Gawd's salvation from eternal damnation when the kid is already living in hell and dealing with criminals Loosifer would wet his pants at the sight of."

There was a stunned silence on the other end. "You're kidding me."

"Azile," Yomi complained, his voice already two octaves above his comfortable range, "it says right here in your damn databanks, which I see you haven't taken the time to read. Kurapika killed a man called Ubogin. Ubo was a Genei Ryodan member who could stop a _bazooka _with his _bare hands_ and kill _three_ Injus when he was paralyzed from the neck down. _That _is frightening. Stories about Loosifer, his rabbit teeth and his mohawk _aren't _going to rub off on someone like Kurapika, let alone frighten him into submission.

"Who is Loosifer anyway? Little Batboy who shat his pants to get attention coz Daddy didn't love him enough? My gawd! Why did I not realize that your plan was bound to failure from the start?!"

"YOMI! YOMI! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!" Azile shouted. "CALM DOWN!"

"The stupid rubber mask is going to permanently meld with my skin soon if I don't take it off. I'm being treated like some grand-bastard – "

"– you are," Azile corrected.

"– and I'm condemning them for doing half the shit I myself would have done!"

"Well, hypocrisy is also at the core of the Cult of Kristianity," Azile said in a philosophical and bookish tone. "They claim to respect and co-exist with other beliefs, yet bring out this whole YOUTM business: _YOU are wrong for not believing, YOU are immoral for having your own set of morals, YOU were saved by Geezus, Gawd will judge YOU_ – which is really a dog turd of a definition for 'respect'.

"But have hope! All this YOUTM business is strictly euphemized as _sharing_, ok? It's not 'imposing' or 'forcing.' In fact, the Cult of Kristianity does such a brilliant job convincing the poor, mindless sods that the euphemism is the reality those Cultists could swear they were 'sharing' and pass a polygraph test!"

Yomi made a face of disgust of such severe degree that it had only ever occurred one other time in his life. It was during his scandalous youth, where the floors of Makai was his bed and the sky his blanket – or less romantically – he was a homeless bum. There were some barely civilized towns, which he happened to perimeter one day, with open plumbing that exuded a stench which could knock a strong, healthy youkai into a coma from twenty miles out.

"Who do those Cultists think they're kidding? '_There is only my one true god to the exclusion of all other gods and one day you will be judged by the one true god!' _Yeah, that's _really _sharing, and I live off the waste of bacteria."

Azile let out a bull-like humph that Yomi could imagine being accompanied by the rolling of the eyes. "The whole Kult of Christianity is founded on lies anyway, so don't act so surprised when liars are as plentiful as maggots in a rotting carcass and dishonesty is their first nature.

"Even though you yourself may be hypocritical, the idea is to present yourself as more-perfect-than-thou and do-no-wrong when you stick wave so then you can _look down_ on the flawed people. That way, you will have cloaked yourself in enough authority you wouldn't otherwise have, and you can tell the targets how they have behaved immorally and should fear the judgement of your grandfather the lawd and the punishment of Loosifer. Humanity's views and morals may change over time, but _fear_ is what always works."

"Joy," Yomi spat, his thoughts now confirmed on how Azile's diabolically dictatorial personality would have put Hitler and Stalin combined to shame. "You already knew the results for your experiment. I'm coming back now."

"You can't do that! The results are inconclusive!"

Yomi lost it, the mad dog slipped the leash, the lunatic in him broke out of Arkham. "_Inconclusive! Do you want them to snap my horns off and pierce all six of my ears to prove that it is conclusive?"_

"You don't have a crystal ball," Azile chided, "and if Killua and Gon buy your claptrap, then it's a fifty-fifty possibility that a person preached to will convert. Be a good boy. Finish your task."

"Why did I ever make you my secretary?"

Azile released a laughter so malignant and evil Yomi shivered and had to mentally cling onto images of candy canes and fluffy white bunnies to remind him that there was a speck of good and innocence in the world.

"You must get a kick out of being reminded that I hold, in my sordid possession, compromising photos of you, naked, at one of your General's bachelor parties, and have no qualms whatsoever forwarding it on to 'Gundara Times'. Blackmail gets you places. Look at me for example! I'm your personal secretary with access to all your credit cards! Now, all you need to do is emotionally blackmail the targets, and likewise, you'll succeed in your endeavour.

"You really are too nice sometimes. Like with Kurama? Way too nice. If I were you, I'd have had a collar around him and shocked him every hour to remind him who's in charge. But what do you do? Pamper him, praise him, elevate him, give him power to raise a coup. I'm helping you here, Yomi, training you to become a tougher Overlord. Trust me, if you can so much as scare one hunter character into the Cult of Kristianity, I might even consider returning the negatives to you."

Small, dark clouds of thunder gathered around Yomi. "You bitch!"

"That's what my race is, thank you for stating the obvious. Ok, I'll cut you a better deal. Evangelize to the next two strangers you come across. If my script works, then I'll accept that Gon and Killua won't be liable to conversion because they're abnormally tough like their friends and you can come back ASAP."

Yomi's left hand reached to stroke the fake beard once more and was brutally willed to stop in mid air before it reached destination.

"That sounds good. At least normal humans can't attack me with nen-reinforced fists or weapons. I like that idea. I'll do it."

Azile gave a loud whoop on the other side of the line and Yomi was positive that a few party poopers went off as well. He shook his head and hung up, resigning himself to the unfortunate fate. As soon as he found two meek and gullible humans to terrorize into the Cult and its beliefs, he could curl up in bed and sleep away the horrible events of the day and banish from his memories that he ever tried to emotionally manipulate someone like that.

So Yomi, with a bowed head and a deflated mood, left the men's toilets and begged Fortune to endow him with the results he wanted.

In his preoccupied state, he didn't pay attention to where he was walking and collided with his first non-selected target.

"I like your costume," he heard his target drawl in an appreciative tone that was distinctly devoid of sarcasm. Was this guy serious? "On your way to a party? Mind if I tag along?"

Yomi drew himself up to his full height and bore down on the human male, Azile's last advice repeating in his mind. "_I am so much better than you!_ I am perfect! I have never sinned! You are therefore filth, like chewing gum is to the soles of shoes, and you need to seek the forgiveness of Gawd my grandfather, so that he will not pass judgement on you!"

He heard an amused giggle.

Giggle.

From a grown man.

Oh dear.

He was dealing with another looney.

"You've really got into your role for the cosplay! I'm Hisoka, the World's Greatest Magician, and I am dressed to go to your party! Dyed the hair lime only yesterday! Matches the pink top, no?"

"Hisoka!" Yomi's voice became sonorous and acquired throbbing, passionate qualities, "you have sinned! Pray with me, confess to me your sins and find closure within my loving arms and I will hereafter satisfy all your needs of longing and be your companion through your dark days of sin on earth."

The amused giggle became an outright laugh, a laugh that lasted two full minutes, as in one hundred and twenty marching seconds, and zero signs of ending.

Yomi was _not_ amused. Huffing and puffing, all he could do was suffer the bullets and shrapnel of humiliation and wait for an opening to speak again.

Hisoka blew his nose and wiped away some tears after another forty five seconds of full blown laughter. "In _your _loving arms? You're definitely not my type. I have a set of loving arms whose owner satisfies all my needs on a six hourly basis already."

Beneath the mask, Yomi's face flushed, past pink, red and bordered onto purple, and he had to cough away the embarrassed waver in his voice. "I don't mean _that_ kind of satisfaction."

"That's all the satisfaction I crave," purred Hisoka, preening himself.

Crap. Don't tell me I've hit the dead end already, Yomi sniffed piteously.

"Then your life is empty and unfulfilled without wholesome, spiritual love! Sex is not love! I bear infinite and unconditional love for every creature on this earth. So great is my love for humanity that I, Geezus Krist, allowed myself to be stapled to the T for all your sins so that you would be sinless and join my Grandfather in the realm of bliss and – _would you be serious and stop laughing!_" Yomi cried, quite close to tears, and stamped his foot on the ground. "I volunteered to be stapled for your sins, damnit! Show some gratitude and stop laughing!"

"Hisoka, what's so funny?" a smooth and gentle voice slipped into Yomi's hearing. It contained an incredible calm and listlessness that abated the frustrations and eased the knots of irritation. How Yomi would have loved to hear that voice sing.

"Ah, Illu, Krist here was saying that he loved me and will be stapled to the T for my sins."

Illumi snorted and turned to Yomi with narrowed eyes of concern. "Krist, I advise that you rethink your offer. You'd have to be stapled to the T at least two dozen times to cover for Hisoka's sins."

"I would?"

"Well, Hisoka lives in his own world and almost everything that he does would be interpreted by you as a sin. Trust me. Hisoka does a _lot_ of things you wouldn't want to know about."

"Krist," Hisoka butted in, "you know the loving set of arms I was telling you about? Here he is, my widdle lovely, adorable, hugable Illu."

Illumi punched Hisoka on the shoulder to prevent the man from pouncing on him. "Not in public!" he snapped.

Yomi blinked. "He?"

Oh. Crap.

According to the dreaded script, that meant he had to go to dreaded Dialogue D. Cold perspiration slithered down his back and the wetness in his mouth instantly dried up.

Do I forsake all my dignity and honour for the next five minutes, or do I suffer the scournful rumours from my fellow youkai for the next three hundred years after "Gundara Times" publishes Azile's photos of me?

His heart consumed by anguish and haplessness, Yomi opted for the shorter pain.

"Sin! Sinners! Abominations!" he cried aloud, borrowing on his inner frustrations to transform his voice into a tremendous roar that attracted the attention of other shoppers. The sounds of their footsteps crashed to a standstill as they stood around to witness what was possibly the darkest stain in Yomi's existence.

Hisoka and Illumi, puzzled and mildly stunned by Krist's unexpected change of temper that could rival a group of sixty PMSing women, found a tiny curiosity that wanted to hear what he had to say.

"You two immoral sinners! Desist in your unnatural, wrongful, sinful acts or face the wrath of my grandfather the Punisher! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Your kind will not be tolerated! Gawd did not intend for his creations to be distorted thus!"

Illumi scratched his head and deliberately blinked. "What wrongful acts are you talking about? My assassinations? I'm like Hisoka. We come from different worlds and in our world, killing and assassination are required daily rituals – "

"_It's Adonis and Eave, not Adonis and Steve!"_ Yomi bellowed into their incredulous faces, and inside him, his conscience kicked and writhed in pain.

Hisoka jaw dropped and Illumi frowned as Geezus' denunciation finally began to sink into his brain. The crowd that had gathered in a rough circle around them dramatically gasped and their eyes boggled.

"Sexual intercourse is the union between a _man_ and _woman_ in marriage! Your lawd gawd the saviour will never consummate the unnatural and unforgivable union between two men. You flout the fundamental biological equation of procreation and your wanton disregard for morality and decency disgusts me like the stench of compost disgusts me!"

Illumi tensed as he felt the inquisitive stares of easily a hundred people on his face, and those stares were intense with passion, but he was unable to ascertain what they were passionate about. Hisoka head was tilted at a slight angle, apparently mesmerized by the zealot's ravings and Geezus would burst some veins soon if he didn't relent on the vitriol that appeared to be taking a toll on his health.

"If you don't shed remorse for your sins, you will _never_ be granted communion!" he declared and brandished his Finger of AccusationTM on them.

"What happened to you being stapled for my sins and your unconditional love for me that led to your self-sacrifice?" Hisoka asked, his confusion genuine. Could Geezus Krist perform more back flips in his promises than he, the henka magician?! That was simply unacceptable.

"The Kingdom of Gawd does not welcome sodomizers and boy loving ganymedes! The Gates will be shut to you until you return to the paths of true masculinity and normality! Come, pray with me for Gawd's forgiveness, pray with me for Gawd to save you from the eternal fires of damnation and _hell_ and the terrible face of _Loosifer_."

Illumi put a finger to his chin, to resemble the action of thought, and his eyes never left Geezus' disturbingly fascinating and profusely frothing mouth. "How tough is _Loosifer_? For the right price, I might be able to eliminate him so that none of us have to be afraid of his face again."

"Or, we could save the trouble and recommend that he get some plastic surgery," Hisoka murmured.

Yomi ignored their side comments and forced his voice to the limits and heard it break into a croak at the upper registers, not unlike his dignity. "Come, my sons, ye poor lambs who have strayed from the paths – "

Hisoka's cocked eyebrow rose another two centimetres. "Lambs?" he echoed, skeptical about the idea of magicians being imitated to sheep for sheep were mindless creatures who did as they were told and never had an individual or intelligent thought in their life. Personally, he preferred magicians being likened to hamsters.

"– repent with your heart and soul and I will carry the heavy burden of your sins. Ask Gawd to forgive you for your heinous and disgusting acts of sodom – _aaauuuugh_"

The poker-faced assassin was staring innocently at his fist, protruding with veins and all, that had whipped out on its own initiative like a baseball thrown by a professional pitcher and planted itself straight into Geezus' abdomen, prematurely squeezing all the oxygen out of the Grand-bastard of Gawd's lungs.

Yomi cringed into a ball on the ground, fetal position, wheezing and mewing, trying to coax his organs to start functioning again after such a devastating shock. The extremity of the pain caused him to violently tremble – there had to be 100 offensive kou behind that punch.

Rapturous applause thundered around Illumi and Hisoka along with jubilant hoots of cheering. Suddenly, one clear voice rose above the din with splendid clarity, and Hisoka took the opportunity to jerk Illumi to the outside edge of the crowd as the people's attention were tuned to the voice that cried out indignantly:

"Everyone! This Krist is a fraud and an imposter – he can offer us nothing of forgiveness for he himself is dirtier than the pus that leaks out of infected wounds! He represents and incites nothing but bigotry, discrimination and human prejudice. This filthy lying rodent_ thinks he can win our hearts by demonizing minority groups! Who does he take us for? Shallow, brainless people without an ounce of tolerance who like to make ourselves feel better by oppressing defenseless people? I spit in the face of a Cult that does not have the breadth to embrace all walks of life! Say NO to the Cult of Kristianity!"_

Illumi's eyes widened whilst Hisoka dragged him farther away from an increasingly agitated crowd that was swayed both mentally and emotionally by the speaker's compelling tone. He caught the wink the speaker threw at him and whispered her name.

"Kayle?"

Suddenly, the crowd lurched forward and they fell onto Yomi like a savage pack of hyenas fighting for the last scraps of meat. Kayle daintily stepped, dodged and ducked and disentangled herself from the press of bodies. For the people who couldn't get to Krist to give him a piece of their mind in the form of truly punishing bruises, they brandished their own Fingers of AccusationTM and started to chant "_Shame, Geezus, Shame!"_ over and over again. There was such massive hysteria, compulsive syncopation and fabulous rhythm in the chant that even Hisoka had to give Kayle credit for blowing mild irritation and annoyance in the people who had stopped to listen, aghast, at Krist's homophobic stance out of worldly proportions.

As an agitator, Kayle was in her element, and she acquired a length of rope and kicked it into the crowd, then shouted "Hang him!", which was then immediately picked up on by the hundred, enraged beyond reason, people again.

Kayle eventually fell back and joined the calm and disaffected couple, who indifferently watched the lynching of Geezus Krist. But Hisoka sniffed when Kayle beamed at them both.

"I hope you haven't taken to stalking us."

She vigorously denied it and threw her head back to a small group of people some stores down, trying to make Bashou embarrassed by getting him to carry the lacy underwear to the change rooms. "My lady Takara Takahashi is shopping for lingerie with Miss Neon Nostrad this afternoon. I never knew that being a bodyguard meant that you got dragged along to shopping sprees. Still, if it wasn't for this little bit of drama, I would have been bored out of my mind." She shook her head. "Mob mentality. You just need to give them suggestions and they take off like a summer thunderstorm. Brilliant stuff, no? Anyway, glad to have dealt some true justice today. I've got to get running. See you around."

They didn't see Kayle leave as the drama unfolding before them had reached its climax and arrested their full attention.

Before Geezus was hanged, he had his living daylights thoroughly beaten out of him:

He was spat on;

He received a lot of swift, sharp kicks to his nuts;

A toddler scribbled 'you suck' onto Yomi's once pristine white robes with permanent red marker;

And an Arcadian lady dropped a spiky durian on his head.

Then the Mall Security came in, with full riot gear and armed with tear gas grenades to disperse the crowd. After they left, only Hisoka and Illumi remained beside, or were looking down on, Yomi's crumpled form. When the security guards were well out of sight, Hisoka daintily stepped forward and prodded the prone body of Krist with the toe of his shoe.

"Hey, are you still alive?"

"I….I need medical attention!"

"But you who have offered me your unconditional love have to be stapled to the T to absolve my sins, remember?" A nasty and altogether abhorrent smile lit up on Hisoka's powdered face and he helped himself to a fistful of Yomi's white robes. "You see, Geezus, Illumi and I need you to suffer our crimes for us because we are going to engage in an incredibly intense and amazing bout of immoral sexual intercourse as soon as I'm done with you."

Yomi struggled, whimpering with fear as Hisoka tried to drag him onto his feet. Sensing that the situation had gone completely out of hand, Yomi released a fraction of his legendary s class youki and repelled his assailants. In the second given to him, he made a hundred meter sprint for the exit, the fastest he had run since his youthful days of thieving with youko Kurama over a millenium ago.

Illumi dispassionately observed the fleeing figure without too much sympathy. To Hisoka, he blandly remarked, "You know, you'd think the Grand-bastard of Gawd would be more accepting and won't judge people through coloured lens."

Hisoka settled his arm across Illumi's shoulder in a companionable fashion and nodded. "Maybe he's just another petty, narrow-minded, prejudiced man like the rest of miserable and hypocritical humanity after all."

Outside may be humid and hot and panting for air was no different to choking on noxious fumes that killed his lungs than helped, but that was infinitely more pleasant than being affixed to a T by a psychopath nen user or pummeled to death by his soft spoken partner.

* * *

Author's Notes 3: We want to state for the record that the person who oh-so righteously heckled us about respect and co-existence should first examine her own atrociously intolerant, hypocritical behaviour and numerous instances of blatant lying and note that she has absolutely no qualifications whatsoever to be talking to us about respect and co-existence as she obviously has no clue what those words mean.

We submit that the reasons some people have found this fanfic disrespectful and offensive are because we have captured those sorts of people's type of loathsome behaviour in text to show the world just who the real offensive and bigoted ones are around here. We would hereby like to thank these certain few people for confirming and enacting the tactics of intimidation and intolerance that Yomi is forced by Azile to apply in the fanfic. You've been exposed as emotional manipulators and bullies, and because the truth is more than ugly, you've all, predictably and typically, resorted to tactics of condemnation that I'm sure you are all so familiar and good at.

As for the lying, gutless reviewer thinking that masquerading behind Buddhism would make their comments more impartial and persuasive, Yomi would personally like to say that 'fucktard' was a hilarious term. Furthermore, we are truly sad that you have to actually expressly state you were being offensive as your first attempt miserably failed to convey your intent. As for your third review, Yomi wonders whether you can actually rub two braincells together and come up with some disgusting imagery that is original, and not cliché, mundane and overdone. Lastly, "going down" _where?_ What the heck are you talking about, sweetie?

We believe that _our _message is important too, and though some of you have sought to threaten us with the judgement of your one true god, who we believe to be **ridiculously fictitious**, and throw words such as 'immoral' and 'immature' in our faces without a persuasive and substantial argument, we believe that we have done no wrong. And now we must finish the fanfic and contemplate a sequel such that we can teach others to defend themselves against bullies like you, reject the illusory promises of love and comfort and strive towards more realistic and tangible resolutions to their everyday problems. At least save them from becoming lying ratbags who don't have the courage to confess to their own religious denomination when demonstrating just how desperately they need a brain for all the internet to see.

We find your treatment of religion as some sort of commercial commodity to shop around for in order to extract some personal gain to be frankly disgusting, as we believe religion is something to be worshipped and revered simply on its merits and without promises of extravagant dividends. Again, your appeal to human selfishness and greed has been duly noted and you will see your repugnant actions replayed in this fanfic.

At the end of the day, we are glad this fanfic has been offensive for some, as it confronts the euphemisms of so-called 'sharing' that these people have used to mask what is in **fact** aggressive denunciation and disrespect of other faiths and beliefs. If you were offended by this fanfic, then don't do unto others what you wouldn't like done to yourself. We are glad we have been able to use this fanfic to get that message across.


	4. Chapter Three

**D A M N A T I O N ?  
  
**A Hunter x Hunter fanfic co-authored with fellow forum member and special title holder: Azile  
  
**Disclaimer: **Hunter x Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation  
  
**Author's Note: **Azile came up with the idea for this fanfic. Even though I was the one who penned the words, Azile's contribution, in terms of ideas, phrases and scenes, was substantial. Her inspirations and ideas came to her after reading "Salvation". If anyone wishes to dispute the content of the fic, please do so at my forum: and start a thread under "Fanfic Discussion". I do not particularly care for your opinions about our ideas on religion but feel that even though we have put this disclaimer, discussion about our lack of faith is inevitable, hence if you do want to rant, please do so at the forum instead. However, the review board is open to comments on whether you believe that our portrayal of the Hunter characters is accurate or not.

**Author's note 2:** One author has opined that the Cult of Kristianity is not sympathetic enough to appeal to the Hunter characters and give the true test to see if religion would appeal to them or not. I thoroughly agree, and maybe I wasn't cajoling enough with Leorio in the first chapter. Hence with the last two chapters, Yomi switches tack and opts to use methods of coaxing and subtle pressuring on the last two main characters. I would like to thank that reviewer for suggesting that I should be fairer to the characters and present the more appealing side of religion to them for that reminded me of another tactic which I equally abhor. So though not entirely a comprehensive 'how-not-to-fall-for-the-lies-of-those-who-would-seek-to-convert-you', it has covered the main methods and I hope that armed with this, it can be adapted to your own individual uses and situations.

**Author's Note 3: **I don't know if Killua's character is entirely consistent in this chapter or not. Originally, this chapter was probably 350 words shorter. Like Kurapika, although Killua's not wordy, we believe that a large part of his character consists of his ability to instantly see through bull and state his point of view in an outrageous, though hideously accurate way. If there are complaints about Killua's character in this chapter, Yomi will most definitely consider reworking it.

**Summary: **Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings.

**Chapter: **3 / 4

* * *

Yomi leaned against the brick wall of an alley that looked as bad as it smelt. It was the only refuge open to him, where he would be left alone with no one to mock him any more. He could feel the shark jagged edges of the cracked bricks digging into his back, reminding him, through pain, that he was still alive when by all rights he ought to have been dead for having said those dastardly words and for copping a kou reinforced punch without any defences.

His youki was concentrated around his abdomen, repairing the damaged muscles and disbanding the bruised blood such that the ugly purple swelling subsided at what everyone would acknowledge as inhuman speeds.

His hands trembled as he reached into the folds of his robes again for the phone, only to hear himself groan. The phone had cracked in two places, when Illumi's fist merely brushed past it during the assault. Precariously holding the machine together, Yomi dialed that all too familiar, and now rather hated, number to his Office, where Azile would be swivelling around in his executive chair no doubt, lauding around as if owned the place. Probably already did, just not in name. Just wait until he got those negatives _and_ every damn copy back, then her head would be on a pike, beside his bed to give him sweet dreams.

"Tell me tell me tell me!" Azile gushed in a flurry the moment she handled the receiver as she set down the appallingly large bowl of vanilla ice cream that was doused with generous dollops of hot, melted chocolate. She carelessly licked the corners of her lips, sucked on her fingers where the running ice cream had managed to overflow and reach, then drummed those slag coated fingers on Yomi's desk. "So, did it work? Did ordinary humans succumb to Kristianity's preachings and the Manual's message?"

"My fucking arse were they normal humans! I was punched with kou! In fact, I don't think I'll be having solid foods for the next month, all thanks to you. Dialogue D is a killer. I'd _love_ to see you approach someone and shout Dialogue D in their face and sound you actually believe it!"

"What's wrong with Dialogue D?" Azile sounded perfectly innocent, and Yomi grit his teeth so hard he swore he heard a molar crack.

"Oh, I don't know," Yomi spat, sarcasm so thick in his voice that any lesser woman would have been quivering in fear. "Maybe it's because I'm yelling that they're an aberration of nature to their faces only because the homophobic Manual says so. I was forced to label them as wrong and call them monsters if only because one of them chooses to stick his penis in an arsehole and the other guy lets him do it! Like it's any of my damn business where they decide to stick their bloody penises anyway! How do their sexual activities and preferences affect whether they're a moral person or not?! How have they sinned just because they have engaged in consensual sex?!"

Azile hummed a bit, ignoring Yomi's hyperventilation and weakening grip over his sanity. "I take it Dialogue D backfired then," she solemnly observed.

"_Backfire_ is the understatement of the millenium! It didn't merely _backfire_. I was surrounded by a mob and vigilantes were going to lynch me if security didn't step in fast enough. I was spat on, kicked, verbally abused, _I had a durian thrown at my head and blood is still pouring down my face_! My self-esteem is at an all century low. I can still hear '_Shame, Geezus, shame'_ ringing inside my head and how I felt like I wanted dig a hole and crawl in. Honestly, Azile, just what kind of human would buy into a Cult that likes to make you feel worthless to control you and pry into people's sex lives to determine their character?!"

Azile sighed, and if she were beside Yomi, she'd give him her most compassionate pat on the back, if the bone of compassion within her was larger than her fingernail that is. The poor old guy. He had been too sheltered all his life, believing that brute force, dictatorship and discipline was the only way to control people's hearts and minds. Maybe after a month or so, when he had recuperated, both mentally and physically, from this experience, he could treat it as a small and invaluable lesson and discover that emotional exploitation works wonders too.

"Well, forget about the adults then," she began slowly, "Gon and Killua are only kids. I don't think either of them can hurt you too badly any more."

"Are you being fucking serious? Killua's an assassin with extraordinary skills and Gon's father is reputed to be the greatest hunter of all time!"

"But they're kids." Azile switched to her reasonable, but uncompromising, tone once more. "Even though Killua may be a bit more intelligent than the average twelve year old, his emotions will essentially be that of a child. Surely you can brainwash a child!"

Yomi sighed in defeat. He was in too much pain to argue. "Can I at least ease back on that whole 'you're-gonna-to-burn-in-hell!' approach? Kids respond better to coaxing."

"Oh, all right," Azile conceded. Under normal circumstances, she would have put her foot down and not budged an inch, but guilt of Yomi being beaten up by another nen user and humiliated persuaded her to cut him some slack. "Try the compassionate approach again, like when you tried to do Leorio. Killua doesn't have any dead friends, so I don't think he's going to get upset enough to punch you in the nose."

"Thanks," Yomi muttered, and made the phone disappear into the folds of his robes again. It was hot outside, but he couldn't go back to the shopping mall. Too many people would recognize his face and come up with unbelievably creative ways to torment him for denouncing….what were their names again?

He shook his head. The headache was like having a dozen tympanis struck by toddlers who were getting back at their parents for not endowing them with the proper gifts. He stumbled back onto the main streets of the city, idly drifting on unsteady legs. He constantly bumped into people, murmured apologies that were entirely mechanical, then heard the silver chimes of Green Sleeves as he approached the park.

An ice cream van. Maybe he could take a break and treat his sweet tooth.

He stood in line behind another child who was taking his pleasure in ordering nearly all the flavours that the van had to offer, omitting only red coloured one which Yomi was later told was 'sweet chilli' flavour.

"Yo, Gon! Do you want any?" the child hollered.

A voice faintly floated back. "You go ahead and eat, Killua! I've got to help the granny cross the street! I'll order when I come back!"

He heard Killua's grumble, forgot about ordering his own ice cream and slowly approached the kid.

"Yes?" Killua suspiciously threw a side glance at the man dressed up in robes that one would expect to find at the museum, in those glass exhibits, not on the curators. Of all bench parks the man with the weird clothes could have sat at, when he chose the same one as Killua, there were ulterior motives at play.

Yomi put on his most benign smile and said, in his most fatherly way, "How are you today, my son?"

"Er….good." Killua scratched his cheek and appraised the man with healthy amounts of consternation. "And you are…?"

"My son, I am the saviour, your lawd Geezus Krist."

"Sure you are," Killua said slowly, as one would to the mentally insane.

"I have come down to the mortal realm to offer you my love and comfort!"

Killua leapt off the bench in alarm, as if the bench had become so hot that it had burnt his bottom. To Killua however, the reaction was necessary, for when an older man declared love for younger children, the image of Hisoka resurfaced in his mind, coupled with the incident back in Greed Island wherein the magician's distressing behaviour and his tendency to stalk left him shivering.

"Goodbye, let's not see each other later," he said quickly and stalked off, hoping to put in as much space between himself and the pedophile as possible before the older man realized what was happening and gave chase!

"My son," the looney called behind him. "I don't mean _that_ kind of love. I meant fatherly love, the love of family and the comfort of belonging!"

Killua stopped and he relaxed somewhat.

"Come again?"

"I am the all knowing Krist, and I know you, Killua Zoldick, lack the affection and love from a family as what every child should expect. I've sensed your pain and have manifested on the earthly realm to be your friend."

Killua snorted and crunched, in a near menacing fashion, on the waffle cone. "Cut the crap. You've been doing your research on my background. Now what the hell do you want? My mother wouldn't trust a deluded freak like you to bring me home, and you don't seem so terribly dangerous. So why'd you dig into my history?"

Yomi strained his muscles to the limits to pull off the ultra benign smile. "To offer you salvation, my son, to save you from pain and desolation. My love will give to you the things that are missing in your life."

An arching eyebrow was never a good sign. Yomi felt the stirrings of ill from the pit of his (injured, and still aching) stomach and fought to keep that smile from dropping into a line of depression.

"Ok, no one ever goes around offering something without asking or expecting something in return. _Suppose_ for one ludicrous moment that I have all these insecurities, what do I have to do?"

Yomi came to realize what the words "practical and impudent" truly stood for in Killua's profile. Who would have thought that a twelve-year-old boy knew the harsh realities of bargain and barter, or more simply put – nothing in this world was ever free? The trick in this case however, was to make it sound like the target got a lot without having to do much, or that whatever he had to give, it should be a transaction of good will, not a reluctant payment.

"You just have to pray to me, and accept I, Lawd Geezus Krist, as your saviour, harp on to your friends about me with every opportunity that you can get – you can call it 'sharing' if anyone ever objects to the pushy nature – and you shall have the company and love that has always been lacking in your life. I will be the father you never had and the brother you should have had and the grandfather – "

"Whoah, hold it right there!" Killua interrupted severely. "How can you be my father, brother _and_ grandpa at the same time?"

Yomi could almost taste the bile and vomit in his mouth. "Because I bear infinite love for humanity – "

"More like you are a vending machine." Killua allowed himself to be distracted and turned his head towards the busy road to check how much progress Gon had made with the granny. They were on the other side now of the street now, and Gon had to wait for the green man to cross back, because jay walking was against his moral fibre. He caught Killua watching him and vigorously waved.

Killua turned back to Yomi. The child's eyelids were lowered in boredom he blew a sigh of exasperation in Yomi's face. "You look confused. I suppose I have enough time to explain why." Killua crossed is arms and looked totally business with no room for tomfoolery that was befitting of his age. "It's because you're just so convenient and have all the answers to all our fears and problems that actually makes you more unbelievable than you already are. Need love? Give me your soul! Need a father figure? Give me your soul! Need someone to soothe your guilty conscience? Give me your soul! Feel lonely and need a friend? Give me your soul! You have any problem whatsoever and I will say anything to make you feel better! There's no universal solution like that, and I don't intend to waste my life living in a fool's ignorant paradise "

"Well, now that you put it that way…" Yomi mumbled, feeling himself nod appreciatively. But he snapped out of it and resumed his authoritative posturing. After all, he was an adult, and what was the world coming to when an adult agreed with the childish opinions of a streetwise kid who had some smarts? Surely, if he, the grand-Bastard of Gawd held himself out to be fact instead of 'just another belief' and the whole YOUTM methodology, then Killua would eventually submit to his ideology.

"You have to believe in the almighty grace, that I, Geezus, the sinless, could came to earth and be stapled to the T for humanity's sins because of my overwhelming love for you, then you really can find whatever you need in me. Cold empty nights will now be warm. The darkness in your life will be lifted and you shall bask in the light and glory of my love. Whatever guilt you are troubled with I will shoulder for you. Aren't I so great?"

Killua could only give a disdainful chuckle and regarded Yomi with a sinister light of victory in his eyes. "My father told me to beware of anything that's too good to be true, _especially_ those who say they've never done anything wrong in their life. It smacks of severe delusion. And honestly, I love and respect my dad heaps, my grandpa too, so I don't think I have any more room for your overwhelming love. As for your fabulous greatness to shoulder my troubles, it might be more than you can handle."

"That's what the other guy back at the mall also said," Yomi muttered to himself, frowning in dread, but that thought was quickly pushed to one side and he said aloud to the child, "But you still have a dysfunctional family. I will give you everything else that you lack – "

"You really don't get it, do you?" Killua asked him. His voice held a puzzlement that was very real and a smugness that made Yomi sound foolish for not understanding something that was incredibly simple. "Life is not meant to be perfect. Do you know how bored I'll be if you can make me believe that you can give me everything by telling me things I want to hear? That means I don't have to work it or train for it. Don't you believe in good old fashioned hard work?"

"But that's the beauty of my love and my grandfather's embrace! It is a love generously given and you need not feel lonely or lost ever again by simply believing that my grandfather is the lawd of us all and worship him, follow our instructions and brand all your unbelieving friends as immoral and disrespectful cretins because you've lost your ability to think for yourself! How can you turn this gift down and make yourself laboriously work for love with no guarantee that your efforts will be reciprocated? Why do you chose the backbreaking toils of this world to get the few measly returns when paradise welcomes you if you just believe?" Yomi asked passionately, but deep inside, he suffered a draught of nostalgia as he got the premonition that he was about to enact his scene with Kurapika all over again. Only Killua was an…let's see here…ex assassin who still displayed all too frequent tendencies of cold-blooded mercilessness towards people who generally pissed him off. It would be no different to asking a cow to fly over the moon as it would to hope that Killua would show Krist the same grace and civility as the Kuruta.

There was satisfaction and mocking in Killua's expression. "Because I don't seek paradise. If there are no scumbags to kill, idiots to mock, people in need of a strong hand and no hard problems to tear our hair out and find a solution for, what's there for me to do?"

"But a splendid life of peace and comfort and – "

"I want to be like Gon. I want to live a life of excitement and adventure, of danger, sudden death and the thrill of the chase . Unless you're volunteering to be the prey, in which case, I can count to ten and give you a good head start."

Yomi really didn't feel like arguing. Even though the child was but a child with his childish emotions, he had an alarming insight parallel in depth and breadth to a wizened adult. There were no petty, naive dreams wanting the world to be fair and wanting "everything going right." There was need to be consoled and be told that things were crap in your life because it was meant to be that way for the inscrutable reasons of a divine being who you may or may not feel. There was the strength and courage to accept that things in life were crap and no one can do anything about it so shut up, stop complaining or get professional help.

Yet surely, all humans must hanker for someone to give them the perfect world and soothe their hurts and be told that the world didn't mindlessly wound them with circumstance and bad luck just because it had a sadistic sense of humour. Could the cynic prevail over the dreamer? Or was the dreamer merely a parasite in the mind that could dominate, and one day control, the mind by feeding it promises of plenty? And the giver of the promises could then have all the parasites eating out of his hand, and he could laugh, a chilling and malicious laugh, at the power he had accumulated merely by pampering the parasite that most people with sense should keep lean. He had to try. He had to know. He had to see how many 'you's' he could fit into one speech.

"You suffered anguish as a child. You were a defenceless little boy thrown to the wolves of a family that does not understand humanity. You've been hurt, poor thing, taught to kill and forced your hands to be washed in blood when you need love and you need to be sheltered from the savage storms of the world. Don't you want me to deal with this pain for you?"

"Geezus, are you trying to drown me in sap? Who do you take me for, a weakling in need of pity?"

"Asking for pity is not the act of a coward." Personally, Yomi had a lot of things to say about that and would strangle Shura if he ever caught him saying it. "I want to ease your pain, my son, and help you accept me as your saviour."

Killua looked offended. "Are you saying that I can't ease my pain on my own, using my own methods that I discover?"

"That's not what I mean." Yomi resisted an urge to grunt and swear, stamp his foot and jump up and down like a Azile had just dumped a colony of bull ants into his underwear. Nasty, cocky brat. "I mean to say that you have unjustly suffered, and my lawd grandfather is just and righteous and he will accept his stray lambs – "

"Look, I don't think you have anything to offer that I want. Even though I don't like my mum and Milluki is an annoying pig, I wouldn't be kickass and powerful without their nagging. If I slacked off as much as I would have liked to when I was a kid, I would still be struggling with nen. And yes, being shocked by a million volts of electricity _does_ hurt, and maybe doubly so if your mum is laughing maniacally when she's poking you with the electric prods herself, but really, there was no other way to learn that technique. If you want to be the best, you've got to train harder than the rest. The skills I've acquired outweigh the shit I went through in my childhood. I really don't feel like complaining."

Had it been Shura who had uttered those words, Yomi would have turned himself inside out in pride, sobbed like a woman and crushed his son in a suffocating hug to test whether Shura could pry himself out of it. Even now, hot tears of pride threatened to well in his eyes and his voice wavered at first. He had to take in a few deep breaths to steady himself and press on with the script.

"You shouldn't have had to suffer for nen," he tried to sound as persuasive as possible, even if every fibre of his being was shrieking at him, yelling "traitor!" in all six of his eardrums because life in Makai had taught him the exact opposite. "Give up your nen. Gawd is almighty, and he is your defender and protector and only he shall have this power. You hurt yourself daily to learn Loosifer's corrupt power of nen, and gawd will not allow that, for only he can protect you from the world's evils and the Holey Spewrat that he sends will work miracles – _ok. I give up. What's so damn funny about THIS speech?!"_

"You want me to voluntarily disarm after I've invested so damn much of time into nen and attracted all these psychopaths in my adventures, then rely on some _rat_, whose abilities I can't bring myself to trust because I've never seen him in action, to stand between me and my enemies?"

"The Holey Spewrat is the earthly manifestation of my grandfather's almighty and kickass powers. Trust me, the Spewrat can fight your battles for you, cure any sickness and disease, give you a room full of gold and buy you whatever toys you so desire."

Killua absentmindedly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and then rubbed the back of his hand against his shorts to remove the sticky, clingy sensations. He didn't really trust a Spewrat to stand between him and Hisoka. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he would stake his entire Zoldick fortune that this Holey Spewrat would put the tail between his legs and run if Hisoka were ever charging right towards him with homicidal bloodlust raging like golden flames in his eyes. So much for receiving protection. What was the Spewrat going to do anyway? Spew partially digested smelly cheese all over Hisoka then kick him in the nuts when the clown was gagging over the stench and cringing at the slime?

Never rely on anyone, his dad and brother always said – best to trust your own skills and fight your own battles. _That_ is the path of the honourable man. Truth was, why feel helpless when you were gifted with extraordinary abilities? Why rely on others for defence when you can construct your own fortifications? Why deprive yourself of the adrenaline rush by getting someone to fight these lunatics for you?

And so Killua told Yomi what just went through his mind, only to be condemned.

"That's very selfish of you," Yomi accused, reading his Finger of AccusationTM. "I was stapled to the T for all your sins, and need I remind you, I am shouldering a lot of your sins here. Of the many people in this world, you are quite sinful and you need to be redeemed and for someone to die for those sins, and that someone was me, and being stapled to the T took a long time to die. Now I only ask that you give up your nen and have a bit of faith in the Spewrat, and you can't even do that for me?!"

Killua snorted with contempt equal to the denunciation and pulled it off with more style than Yomi. Not that you could blame Yomi however, as arranging expressions on a rubber mask, though tight on your face, still took more effort than he had the energy for.

A glint of icy coldness seeped into Killua's eyes. Whilst he had promised to stop his assassin's ways, he never felt he was wrong or had been a bad boy in the 'you're not a goody-goody' sense. All that had happened to incite the changes in his attitude was his shift from his old world to Gon's world, where you could get buy without ramming a knife into someone's skull if they didn't let you have your way. He never attempted to attribute any moral reason for his transition – he merely did it because he wanted to, and _pity_ the idiot who tried to make him feel bad for being the best of all assassins.

His agreeable, though somewhat exasperated tone, hardened. "You never asked me if I wanted you to be stapled for my sins or not. You don't even know if I think sinners need to die or be redeemed or not. Did it ever occur to you that I might not be the spineless coward you perceive me to be and that I would have the balls to fess up to my own bad behaviour and live with it? Here, Geezus, sit down with me whilst my friend Gon now goes to help a grandpa cross the road and I'll give you a piece of my mind."

Yomi felt that this was a rhetorical invitation, as in if he didn't want his private parts ripped off, he'd better agree. Both of them returned to the bench that they had previously sat on, Yomi now the attentive listener with his hands folded in his lap to suppress the trembling and Killua in charge of the conversation.

"Now Geezus, do you understand why you were stapled to the T and not Barney?"

"The purple dinosaur?"

Killua rolled his eyes. "No, the butcher who sold bad ham and got a dozen people killed with salmonella, stupid. Do you know why the people wanted Barney to be freed from the fate of being stapled instead of you?"

"Because he's a cute purple prehistoric creature – I mean – they were sinners who didn't realize their sin and needed to be redeemed. My self sacrifice for the salvation of their souls would reveal to them this truth," Yomi quoted word for word from the script. There wasn't much conviction left now, he had been drained by the day's events.

The younger boy humphed cruelly, in ways which reminded Yomi of Azile, as it was capable of stirring the small hairs on his arms.

"Ah, the snobbery of the immortal elite," Killua sighed, leaning back on the bench. "_The people don't know any better, they're idiots filled up to their eyeballs in sin_ – I suppose that's what you're trying to say. Well, hate to tell you, Krist, but maybe it's exactly because you keep on trying to smother us with our sins and trying to make us feel bad about ourselves and the things we do that the people wanted you to die. And maybe it's because you are like the irritating hawker trying to offer us products that are cheap, worthless, and when purchased, fall apart the second day, that people wanted you out of their lives. And so between you and Barney, people had no qualms kicking you out of the way instead of the human and faulty Barney who just bought a batch of bad ham. You were waving your yardstick and doing all this _judging_ presumably because you had a lot of time on your hands and you thought you were better than everyone else when in fact your manipulations and terrorizing made you worse than the dogs.

"I mean, no human was created perfect, so why choke us with the fact and then frighten us if we can't live up to your impossible standards of perfection that can only be attained by massive denial? Oh! I see, that's the only way to get us grovelling at your feet, begging for your help to save us from the damning fires of _hell _because of who we are. And then I suppose your followers, who do this judging work for you, get this amazing ego rush because they're comparing their saintly selves to people who they believe, in their mind, are so sinful they are worse than animals. Is this it? Is this how you propose to make my life better? By giving me a bogus right to snob and degrade other people based on your despotic and bigoted belief system?

"Well, excuse me if I turn away from your offer of paradise. I will walk this world, up and down, sideways and diagonal even, and go through one experience after another, without having some artificial safety net that gawd is always there to be my friend. I find real love and real friendship to be more satisfying than imagined love. I'm pretty sure I can come up with an infinitely more interesting character with a bag full more of personality using my imagination instead if I do ever need an imaginary friend, pathetic as I will be by then.

"So carry on and glorify yourself as the martyr for human perfection, but now and then, when you're alone with your own thoughts, play with the idea that maybe, just maybe, people wanted you dead so that they could carry on their lives without someone trying to whip their version of morality and good conduct into them or exploit their emotional vulnerabilities."

Yomi likewise slouched into the bench and kicked his feet out in front of him, behaving in a very un-Geezus like manner. "If only my son had half your brains, I wouldn't have so many wrinkles. But tell me, Killua, what would ever happen if you fell into an abyss so dark and so bottomless and you have no one to turn to and your spirit is crushed? Will you then not turn to the solace and comfort that I offer?"

Killua's laughter was clearer than any silver bell. "One, I would _never _allow myself to reach such a state, and two, if someone reduced my life such that there was nothing but warm revenge, then that someone better start turning to the paranormal spewing rat for aid because a man who's got nothing to lose is the most dangerous of them all. And after revenge, who knows? Do things that will make me feel better! Laugh and live another day! Make new goals for myself to achieve! Ah, what rhetoric! I'm sure Gon would be pleased to hear me say that."

"I like your way of thinking!" Yomi gushed as well. He slapped Killua on the back with more force than intended, but the child managed a weak grin after spluttering up half his ice-cream that then dribbled down his chin and ruined the front of his shirt with yellow stains. "You know kid, I never wanted to do this gig anyway. You guys just weren't made of the right stuff for Kristianity and couldn't be _bought_ with Geezus' love and whatever else I need to pull out of my bag in order to tempt you into selling your soul to me because you guys have way too much dignity. In fact, that's all I've been doing all morning – _bribing_ you, showering you with gifts to become your friend. True friendships aren't bought and sold like that – it's actually disgusting and repugnant, and I feel like I've just spent the past few hours crawling through a tunnel of raw sewage. I'm going to go home and take a really long shower that will involve lots of scrubbing with some steel wool and gallons of methylated spirits after this. Then, if I still can't sleep at night because my conscience is tormenting me for pulling out such a bastardly act today, I'm going to get myself one of those flashy-thingies from MIB and purge any memories from today. I'll get going soon as I repeat the script for your friend, Gon."

"Go for it. You won't succeed."

Yomi glumly resumed his slouched position. "I know. But your friend won't….physically attack me or anything, will he?"

"Gon's nice. He'll probably try to offer you his kind of salvation instead."

Yomi palmed his forehead and stood up. "Being a Grand-bastard is harder than it looks," he grumbled, standing up as Gon skipped towards them. "And I'm glad I'm doing a piss poor job at it too."


	5. Chapter Four

**D A M N A T I O N ?**  
  
A Hunter x Hunter fanfic co-authored with fellow forum member and special title holder: Azile  
  
**Disclaimer: **Hunter x Hunter and Yu Yu Hakusho are copyrighted by Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation  
  
**Author's Note:** Azile came up with the idea for this fanfic. Even though I was the one who penned the words, Azile's contribution, in terms of ideas, phrases and scenes, was substantial. Her inspirations and ideas came to her after reading "Salvation". If anyone wishes to dispute the content of the fic, please do so at my forum: and start a thread under "Fanfic Discussion". I do not particularly care for your opinions about our ideas on religion but feel that even though we have put this disclaimer, discussion about our lack of faith is inevitable, hence if you do want to rant, please do so at the forum instead. However, the review board is open to comments on whether you believe that our portrayal of the Hunter characters is accurate or not.

Author's Notes 2: Few have complained about the OOCness of Yomi's character. I will not seek to argue that he's remotely in character, only that I ask, as I am inexperienced in this genre, whether such distortions of character are acceptable for the purposes of humour. I have generally come to accept that OOCness has the potential to arouse mighty laughs, as I have had such experience, but perhaps the OOCness has failed on the point of amusement this time, or has this only been pointed out to be for and only for the sake of criticism? If it's unfunny, I welcome any suggestions on how I could have managed the 'humour' aspect of my fanfic with more skill.

As for Azile, she is an original character in her own right, for although the real-life Azile is at times Bitchy, I believe that the Azile in the fanfic is one-dimensionally bitchy and it encompasses her entire character. It's perhaps a parody of the co-author herself, and so derivation of her character forms the OC Azile. Does the fact that Azile is an OC bother you, or give you some other cause of concern, DW-chan?

I have spoken with Azile on the phone last night concerning the problems over Killua's character. I am guilty of formalism, but after a lengthy discussion, we do not believe that Killua is prattling against religion, as you so put it. Maybe that's the way it came out, in which case I would be at fault, but we found plenty of other reasons in the text, and in the context of the scene, to suggest that Killua is not prattling against religion so much as he is trying to demolish everything that Yomi stands for, as Yomi pissed him off. We are under the impression that Killua would twist people's words and mock their ideas because of his brattish nature and arrogance in his intelligence. In some respects, I had wanted to make Killua appear boastful and generally brattish. I conceded to Azile in our discussion that more description of facial expression and tone of voice was necessary in order to show that Killua was being outrageous and outlandish with his last speech. We hypothesized that if I had added a growing, smug, 'mischievous' tinge to Killua's voice, playful and narrowed catlike eyes, and an increasingly bewildered expression on Yomi's face, they would have better conveyed the precedence of mocking such ideas over the prattle against said ideas. After my exams are finished, I will experiment and rework Chapter Three first by reducing the formalism and adding in more description. Culling the content of Killua's speech will be a last resort, if the edited chapter still does not communicate what we intend to express.

On the subject of the 'needless' appearance of Hisoka and Illumi, I submit that you cannot ignore the spark that set the powder keg off. Furthermore, Illumi's growing dislike for Geezus' rant and the fashion of the ranting was to yet again prove another point – that the condemning nature, narrow-minded vision of the Cult is uncalled for. You accuse me of extravagantly depicting the crowd as well, and I felt that comment was unfair. Many a left-wing socialist rallies that I've witnessed display more tendencies to commit violence and vandalism than said crowd in the previous chapter. Believe you me, only the slightest assertion that they're wrong in their ideas is enough to set off the shouting, fist shaking, and push and shove is only too common and acceptable. We could put it down to a difference in culture, for I am also well aware that protestors in Hong Kong do not clash with police with the same ferocity and frequency as Australian protestors.

As for Kurapika's character, we wonder whether it is a good idea to pigeon hole a human being as "relentlessly calculating" at one stage in time and "a walking ice box" at another stage in time. If personality and character is flexible and fluid, then we find it too stringent to impose only _one_ type of behaviour onto a character merely because of a time frame that includes certain events. Granted, certain events may have impact on Kurapika, but we don't believe that deprives him of the ability to react differently, so long as that reaction is still within his capacity. Or maybe you were trying to say something else and we've misunderstood. Please feel free to extend on what you were trying to say.

**Summary:** Yomi is pestered by his personal secretary, Azile, to masquerade as Geezus Krist and go to Ningenkai to gauge the reactions of the Hunter characters to his preachings.  
  
**Chapter: **4 / 4

* * *

Yomi self consciously preened himself, smoothed his beard, straightened his crumpled robes and steeled himself with the determination that he was going to be able to convert the youngest and most naïve of the four people Azile had assigned him to evangelize to. Gon's stubborn streak, as reported in Azile's databanks, was the greatest challenge to be hurdled if he was to succeed in his endeavour. Gon broke into an exuberant greeting before them.

"Hey Killua, who are you talking to?"

His white haired friend fought to keep his face composed, although a shudder of humour managed to seep into his voice. "Gon, meet Geezus. Geezus, Gon."

Gon stuck out his hand and fully looked into the fake eyes of the rubber mask. Yomi shook the hand and felt a wave of calm wash over him. Unlike Killua, who subtly sent the fear of all that was mutilated and pointy into him, Gon's aura had a reassuring effect. It made the smile come easier to his face. It made him relax without effort or exertion. He could breathe more deeply and smell the tingling fragrance of newly cut grass. The hypnotic sound of his mortal heartbeat in his ears faded and he could hear the murmur of the wind, the twitter of the birds in the trees and the steady hum of the crowd two hundred meters up the road in the shopping complex again.

"I saw you guys talking! Can I join in?"

Killua snorted, then pretended that he had only choked on some pollen and weakly hid his impishness behind some dry hacking coughs. However, the malicious twinkle in his eyes could not conceal the triumph of his masterful oratory, that had taken wicked delight in deconstructing everything Geezus tried to propose and stand for, so he found a piece of cloud in the sky to concentrate on.

"Oh, it wasn't much Gon," unless you take delight in twisting someone's words and making them look utterly stupid, Killua giggled in his mind, "just some chit chat."

Yomi went to the ice-cream van and bought two more cones – another one for Killua to shut him up and not blow his cover, and the other to win Gon's trust. Seeing that Killua accepted the ice-cream without any qualms, Gon freely followed suit and on Geezus' beckoning, sat down. Whilst Killua tore away at the paper wrapping and effectively tuned out, Yomi turned the full brunt of his charisma and charm on the youngest boy.

"So, Gon, how's your day been?"

Gon meticulously removed his paper wrapper and scrunched up the rubbish, placing it into his pocket so that he could find a bin to properly dispose of later. He took a small bite, testing to see if the taste was agreeable, before breaking out into another smile.

"Good. Killua and I were going to meet Leorio for afternoon tea, and Kurapika as well, if he can make it, you know, he's a mafia bodyguard and all and is very busy."

"Don't you like Kurapika being a mafia bodyguard?" Yomi said serenely, with all the world's empathy and understanding. Killua snorted more pollen, declared that he was suffering from hay fever, and offered to find a bin for Gon's ice-cream wrapper. He scrambled away before the bubbles of laughter bust from his lungs and decided that he should find a bin quite far away.

"Well, I suppose he's old enough to decide what he wants to do with his life. I could say that I worry about the danger he gets caught up in, because all mafia bosses have nen users as their bodyguards, but I guess I put myself in the path of danger all the time too!"

It was like groping in the dark for the light switch, or drowning in the ocean and reaching for the life saver. He had found a way to make a beeline straight into Gon's simple psyche. "Would you like to see Kurapika stop being a bodyguard then?"

Gon licked the front of his teeth clean before he replied, so that Geezus didn't have to put up with the sight of bits of waffle cone wedged between the cracks of his teeth. "I don't know. I would hate to make him do something he didn't want to do though."

"Gon, my son, you can introduce my grandfather the lawd to him."

"The lawd? Who's he?"

"The ageless. The almighty. The one who sees all. He has the power to make all your dreams come true."

Gon laughed, hastily covered his mouth as he unwittingly sent droplets of icecream sailing through the air which then splattered onto Geezus' worn and dirty robes. That made Gon feel a bit better – at least Geezus didn't have to go out of his way just to get rid of the mess he made.

"That sounds like that genie in the story Aunt Mito used to read to me when I was two."

Yomi could almost taste the sweetness of victory on the tip of his tongue. "Would you like to know gawd then? If you pray to him, accept I Geezus Krist as your lawd and saviour, worship only me and my grandfather, we can help your friend."

Gon leaned forward and said quietly, "Are you all right, Geezus?"

Yomi blinked. "Whatever do you mean?" Sure, he had been king hit, rabbit punched and then assaulted by a savage crowd baying for his blood, but as an S class youkai, he managed to recover from it quite quickly and was adamant that no traces of injury could be perceived from his actions.

"I mean," Gon continued in low, hushed tones, "that you don't believe my Aunt Mito's stories, do you? I grew out of them when I was four, and that's slow compared to all the other children on Whale Island."

"Gon," Yomi said, once again taking the authoritative and patronizing attitude, reflected in the generously patient breathy way in which he expelled Gon's name, "it's all very real, I assure you. You see Gon, we are all gawd's children."

"My mum died when I was born and my dad's called Gin."

"Ah, I meant to say that we humans are the creation of my grandfather. He created us in seventeen days, and it all started with Adonis and Eave in Nellie's backyard."

Gon furrowed his brows. "Geezus-san, we evolved from monkeys!" To demonstrate, Gon touched his thumb with the forefinger on the same hand, repeatedly for greater emphasis. "No other animal can do this, except for monkeys. And see how they look like us? See how intelligent they are? Have you seen their bone structure? It's all quite similar to us!"

"No my dear child, gawd made Eave by taking the funny bone from Adonis – "

"You need a male and a female to get a baby. You can't make babies from funny bones."

Yomi breathed in deeply and counted slowly to five. "Gawd created the universe, ok? Just stop rebutting and learn to _believe_ it instead of asking so many questions and trying to think for yourself."

Gon's eyes lit up. "Wow! Can you tell gawd to make dinosaurs again? I've read in books that they're huge." Gon stretched his arms out on either side of him to the fullest and puffed his chest. "Huge. The ground shook when they walked, and the biggest ones were vegetarians with really really big bodies and small heads and brains the size of a walnut. They liked to stay in water, because the water's buoyancy puts less of their weight on their legs. Smart creatures aren't they, even if they have such a tiny brain?"

The words "Dead End" flashed like dying street lamps inside his head. Yomi realized he had to change his approach before Gon formalized that he was just another crackpot spouting garbage that even a stray cat would find worthless. Time to turn back and manipulate his concern for his friends.

"Do you want to help your friend, Gon? Do you want my grandfather the lawd to save your friend?"

Gon scratched his cheek. "Save? How do you mean? Has someone currently targetted Kurapika?"

"I mean Like," Yomi searched for the words and mentally scanned through the script for the corresponding line, "make him happy again."

"Oh no, it's ok," Gon said and politely shook his head, "Kurapika's going to find his own happiness. There's no need to trouble your grandpa."

"It's no trouble at all," Yomi hastened to reassure, giddy with the excitement of imminent success. "Gawd wants to help us all you see, he wants to make us happy, share his love and tell us everything that happens in this world happened because it was his almighty will."

The crooked finger scratching the cheek stopped. Gon struggled to reject the offer and sound polite at the same time for that was what Aunt Mito had taught him. "That wouldn't be good. There are probably plenty more people who need gawd's help than Kurapika. He's a strong person and self reliant. It's ok. I'm sure he won't be mad that gawd didn't help him if there are others who are in greater need."

Yomi spread his arms and made his voice richly resonate. "Gawd is everywhere. He's omnipotent. He can be in two places at one time."

Gon sweat-dropped. "Geezus-san, now you're really pulling my leg. No one can be in two places at once. Except for Castro though - he could materialize a double, but Wing said that was no good because he's Reinforcement and Materialization is very hard for Reinforcement people to do."

"You see! That's what I mean about my grandfather's powers being kickass! He _can_ be in two places at once. He _can_ help more than one person at once. He wants to help your friend, Kurapika, and he also wants to help you too, Gon, and let you know that his love for you is infinite."

"Um….that's nice." Gon started looking around for Killua, but his friend was well out of sight and smell. How did Killua manage to have a long and animated conversation with a man who thought characters from fairy tales existed beleaguered him, as Killua generally scoffed at, and looked down on, people who were silly enough to believe in ghosts and monsters. What's more, Geezus' declaration of love was starting to get a bit out of hand. He seemed to be a bit too enthusiastic about it, which wasn't a bad thing, but Gon surmized that if he didn't go around declaring his love and goodwill for people like that, it was strange for others to do so. "I better go and find Killua now, so –"

"Oh sit down." Yomi tugged hard at Gon's sleeve, yanking the boy back onto his backside. "Killua's gone to give us a moment together. Now, I want to talk about your life."

Gon obediently quieted down and put his hands into his lap, now curious as to what Geezus had to say about his life, or more importantly, "Why?"

"Because I want to help you understand why it is that unlike all the other children in the world, your mum died when you were a baby and your father left you with your aunt."

"What's there to understand, Geezus?"

Yomi was back in his comfort zone again and he was back on track with the script. "Well, aren't you upset that you never had a mother's love or a father's care whilst all the other children around you had the comfort of having two parents to dote on them?"

"Aunt Mito and Grandma look after me fine. They raised me up to be a healthy boy with good manners!"

"Don't you feel that it's unfair everyone has a mum and dad and all you had is an aunt and a stuffy old grandma?"

"It's not who they are that matters; it's how much they love me that's important. I could be an orphan in an orphanage, but if I had the love of my friends and the people who looked after me, I would be just as happy."

Now _that_ was the answer Yomi least expected. Where the hell was the kicking and screaming and the devastating tantrum of being different from everyone and not having what everyone else had? Yomi felt his mouth turn dry and his mind, taken completely off guard for a second, had been a total white blank.

Then the script resurfaced and though he stumbled, found his footing again. It was time to cast aside suggestive language and use assertive language. It was time to use the YOU(TM) again.

"I feel all this pain in you, pain that you try so hard to suppress. Let it out. Tell me it's hurting you – I understand, because I am Geezus Krist your lawd saviour who has come to heal your wounds and provide a comforting shoulder for you to lean on."

Gon thought it was rude to oogle, so he settled for pensively pursing his lips and worrying his brows until it resembled one long caterpillar resting on his brow.

"Aunt Mito and Grandma are family to me. You're not saying they did a bad job are you, because you're never met them and it's a rude suggestion to make."

"I would _never_ mean it like that. But Gon, tell me, didn't you _ever_ wish your father was there when all the other children had their fathers to hang around? Aren't you angry with your father and felt a loss, an emptiness, a void in you that couldn't be filled no matter what?"

Gon blandly shook his head. "I won't deny that Whale Island can be a lonely place, but I was never angry at Gin. It never occurred to me to be angry, because I guess I knew that there was something he had to do that was so…_great_…that it was more important than raising me. I mean, he knew Aunt Mito was going to do her very best to look after me, so it's not like he was totally irresponsible or anything."

"Will it make you feel better to know that your mother is now with gawd in a beautiful place?"

"My mother is buried near the bend in the river, where I usually fish. But yeah - it's a pretty nice place."

There was not a trace of anguish in his voice, no hurt or sadness. Yomi had always been intrigued by human mortality and the brevity with which their lives began and concluded, or humanity's myriad of ways of dealing with death. Yomi discarded his Geezus façade and directly asked,

"Gon, do you fear death?"

"No. I grew up in the forests and saw animals kill and each other for food and fight each other for territory to stay alive. We're part of the big food chain, maybe we're at the top, but I never believed that I would live forever. I don't fear death. Death is just another part of nature, and I will never see the brighter colours of this world if I become obsessed about death and what may lie beyond when there is just so much for me to do in this world."

"Well Gon, Death is the end. Do you know what happens after the end?"

Gon laughed. "I become part of the soil and absorbed by nature and be one with the earth again – just like everything else."

Yomi casually leaned forward on one hand and unobtrusively bore down on Gon. "Don't you want to believe that there's a beautiful place, a paradise, where you can be reunited with your mother?"

Gon shrugged and did his best to appear apologetic. "Not really, because that doesn't happen. And besides, I don't need it. I don't need to be told that I am going to live forever in paradise, because like Gin, I want to live on in the memories of others for the things I've contributed to the world. This world is paradise enough for me and contains all the adventures I can go on."

Yomi's voice was driven by an unwholesome intensity. "What I mean is don't you _want_ that to happen?"

"The laws of nature are not something you can change just because you want it to." Again, Gon threw in an apologetic half laugh so that Geezus wouldn't be offended that he wasn't agreeing with everything that he said.

"But you _can_ change it!" Yomi urged, "you just have to _believe_ and have faith"

The smile dropped from Gon's face, but although it was serious, it wasn't intimidating in any way. "I'm afraid the world is not like that and no matter how much I want to believe otherwise that still won't change anything. It's not right. Why do you want so much for me to wish for something that's not real anyway?"

"I only wanted you to believe in Krist and accept him as your lawd and saviour because you needed him. I saw that you were hurt, and I saw you have no father and your mother died before you got to know her. I wanted to help by sharing the love of Krist with you so you could feel like you were part of a family. What's so wrong with that?"

Grey puffs of smoke shot out of Gon's ears every time he applied his brain and attempted to seriously think. He felt that Geezus was genuine enough in his sincerity to help, but as much as he appreciated the concern, his resolution in the truth would not allow him to compromise. And so he told Geezus: "Because the reality is that my mother died when she gave birth to me, and the reality is that Gin is somewhere out there contributing his skills for the good of the world. I don't need to know that she's happy in paradise because I treat Aunt Mito as my mum. I don't need to know that Gawd will love me even if Gin has never been in my life because I know he thinks of me. He left me this box and tape and trained me to be a stronger person by creating Greed Island. I have the bestest friend in the whole world. What more do I need?

"And besides, Aunt Mito says we shouldn't lie no matter what," Gon said sounding exceedingly reasonable. "You shouldn't lie and keep on lying to make people feel better. We have to accept that there are problems in life that we have to work through, not to be reassured and ignored by being told happy stories we want to hear. You _aren't_ helping. You're just trying to numb the pain but not treat the wound."

Gon stopped and dutifully waited to allow Geezus to reply and have his say. But Yomi was a stunned mullet and the white flash of mental blank was now an extended daylight in his mind. There was no colour, no images and no noise, just empty white space that he found himself floating in. Perhaps this was the space he inhabited when he was still in his mother's womb – his mind a white sheet, a clean slate, the world before he knew what it was to perceive shapes, colours and sounds. Gon's words reminded him of everyone's origin, of everyone's beginnings and of the origins and mechanisms of life. Nature never proposed to make our lives more complicated – youkai used to live for next day's fight. It was only when he contested for dominion of Makai that he broke with the nomadic youkai traditions, constructed a fortress and attempted to structure and organize youkai society and give youkais another purpose to life other than the brutal instinct of fighting, raping and killing.

In the beginning, the world proposed that we could live, grow old and then die. And in the middle, humans grew big-headed, convinced themselves that they were special and could be freed from this simple proposition. And some of them drew great and elaborate stories to reassure themselves of their self-perceived superiority to transcend the incredibly simple equations of life. Whatever they couldn't understand, they spun great tales of fantastic beings to answer. Then, they forgot that those were only tales used as a substitute for problems later answered by scientists. Other humans on the other side of the globe never departed from the truth of the world, acknowledged it, and hence wrote incredibly short works, one only eighty one stanzas long, which have not only endured the test of time, but remain as tailor-made to modern humanity as it worked for primitive societies thousands of years ago.

Gon didn't know what to think of Geezus' blank expression. He couldn't tell whether the man was sad or coldly angry. It was impossible to tell whether he accepted what he had said or not. He cautiously reached out and patted the older man on the shoulder, an ambiguous act of consolation or merely to extract Geezus' attention. When Geezus remained impassive, Gon tentatively finished his explanations.

"Coming up with imaginary figures and making them love us isn't help. You give people false hope and ideas that there is this place after death where we will all be together again, but that only makes us more blind to the realities around us. Death and life are part of the cycle of nature. We should see it as beautiful, not something to be afraid of and then to make up stories about it to make feel less afraidr.

"Don't you think we should be looking for the truth ourselves, and not be looking for the person who can tell us the truth? We should not be longing for something that we don't have and that exists in another world after we die, but to treasure the things that we do have now and to find an even greater beauty in it for what it is, not by comparing it to something else that we can only build in our imaginations.

"I don't want to be told what I want to hear. I want to discover the realities and truths of this world on my own and interpret them as I choose. If people made things up to make themselves feel better every time they were scared or were confronted with a question they could not answer, we as humanity would never progress and we would never move forward and learn more things and discover new things.

"I don't want my world to be built on lies and other made up things. It might be nice to dream of Nellie's backyard and what this world is lacking, because sometimes there are flaws, but if this world lacks the beauty and perfection, why not try to uncover the perfection that already exists around us? Isn't that a more better and enriching life, Geezus-san?"

Yomi groaned. There were sick and dying men who sounded more alive and healthier than him at the moment. He palmed his forehead and fell flat onto his back. "This is useless," he said aloud in one explosive breath, "totally useless and pathetic. I'm being lectured to about the meaning of life by a gawddamn _eleven year old_. For goodness sakes Gon, wasn't there just one time, _one time_ in your life where you were unsure and _had_ to find something to believe in? Come on. You're human. You have your failings and insecurities."

"I do. But sitting around relying on a genie from picture books isn't going to help me, is it?"

Yomi kicked, like a three year old in the throes of a tantrum. "Bloody never-say-die optimist aren't you?"

"That's how some people describe me! You should try it too Geezus, and stop looking to gawd and paradise when you are when life is a bit down and not the way you'd like it to go. We should be thriving on what we do know and trying to build up the courage to find the answers to the things that we don't know. We cannot live our lives by fear, Geezus-san, and we cannot allay those fears using unrealistic stories. Humans weren't endowed with imagination and creativity just so we can hide in it because the world is not the most perfect place sometimes. We have been given the gift of intelligence to explore the problems and find solutions to them! You should be encouraging people to garner the strength to find the answers and to discover the truth and experience reality.

"Having your head stuck in the clouds because you think what we have on this world is not good enough is a waste of life really. Reality may hurt us sometimes, Geezus-san, you see people kill other people, you see death and you see other people crying, but running away into our own little made-up worlds or looking for over simplistic explanations will never be the answer because the world and reality is a complicated place. You want to encourage people to live without needing to look to anyone to approve every move and act they take. You want people to go out and seek love, by doing good things, by being good people because that's the right thing to do, not merely because they believe in you and do as you say – "

Yomi suddenly bolted upright. He heard the approach of three people, two with footfalls he's heard before. If they belonged to Killua and Kurapika, he deduced that the mysterious third stranger could be no other than Leorio. He grimaced as he heard Leorio chuckle.

"Well well, what have we here? Still trying to preach your rubbish stories to us, Krist?"

"Didn't I tell you that pushing your belief in other people's faces was an unconscionable thing to do?" Kurapika asked.

Killua smirked. "I take it Gon has left you speechless."

"To hell with it all," Yomi grumbled. He took a hold of the damnable rubber mask and ripped it off, false beard and fake eyes and all and celebrated as his skin was instantly cooled by the refreshing breeze that was lazily blowing in the park. He switched off the holographic device that was attached to his shoulder strap and his six ears and seven horns blurred into life.

The four Hunter characters collectively gasped and took one step back.

"I've had enough of this ridiculous bullshit. I'm not going to put up with that stupid rubber oven for a minute longer. What? Never seen a demon before?" he hissed.

Kurapika glanced at his compatriots, all of whom exhibited similar degrees of shock and opened their mouths to a considerable size, although in Gon's case, it was rapidly waning and was being replaced by great fascination that would like to hold Geezus' head in his hands and examine exactly what miracle of nature graced the demon with so many pointy ears.

"My name is Yomi. I'm Overlord of Makai – it's another dimension where demons live. And no, before you ask, you may _not_ follow me there, and I'm _not_ your zoo animal, so stop gawking at me!"

"How can you see?" Leorio asked, amazement erasing the lines on his tired face. "I mean…do you have eyeballs elsewhere that I don't know about?"

"My eyeballs were cut from me over a thousand years ago. I fight by using my sixth sense and sound and smell."

"You mean you're more of a dog than Gon?!" Killua exclaimed.

"I am offended by your simile, but yes, my other senses have all bee tuned to their finest ever since I lost my sight." Yomi stood up, stretched and also dramatically tore aside his ruined robe, showing his smart and well cut Gundara uniform underneath. The tailcoats billowed with another gust of wind and his hair rode the air waves. He clapped his hands free of dirt and cleared his throat, acting every inch the leader of Makai commanding the attention of his insubordinates.

"Now, I would like to apologize for disrupting your day. You see, this whole stint was the product of extortion. My personal secretary, who I fantasize about as a mutilated corpse dangling above a pack of ravenous, starving dogs, has pictures of me from one of my general's bachelor parties."

"Fascinating!" Kurapika remarked, enthusiastically thumbing his chin, "you have generals and military rankings of an organized army so I presume you understand the concept of large-scale, organized warfare. You also have 'bachelor parties' and presumably marriage – it's clearly human cultural influence! Tell me! Do you someone get media from earth transmitted to your dimension? I see you have superior technology – observe that small black antennae that is attached to your shoulder strap. Was this responsible for your impeccable façade?"

Yomi shook his head and pretended he didn't hear that. "So here I was, pretending to be Geezus Krist spreading the word of Kristianity. It was Azile's experiment to see if I could…"

Leorio cocked an eyebrow and settled his glasses more firmly on his nose. "Brainwash us?" he drawled.

Yomi shrugged and curtly nodded. "More or less. There was a detraction halfway through the experiment. I evangelized to some nutcase called…Hisoka and this guy with a very musical voice. His name escapes me…"

Gon and Killua shared a look. "Illumi?" Killua took a stab in the dark.

"Ah! That's right. That's him. He didn't take to Dialogue D so well and some loudmouth suddenly urged the crowd to try to lynch me and throw spikey, smelly fruit at me. Anyway, I found you two kids, gave it my best shot and spectacularly failed."

"So what will Azile do with your photos then?"

"Don't worry Gon. You see, you taught me something very simple today. We should be proactive and deal with our problems. I've lived under her constant annoying threat of going to the _Gundara Times – _"

"Fascinating! They have the concept of independent media!"

"– and I think I've finally got my answers. In fact, Azile has given it to me with both hands, imagine that!"

"She has?" the four echoed. Yomi held up his hands again and asked for quiet.

"We youkai are very simple creatures – unlike humans, who like to weave complex webs of relationships and hierarchy for yourselves. Goodness, we'd be in chaos if we tried to introduce the ballot and parliament. Instead, what we havein Makai is the good old fashioned winner and loser. I am powerful. I am the winner. I get to tell weaklings what to do, what to say, where to go and when they can go, just like the Cult of Kristianity dictates to people. I'm going to go straight back to Makai, give my lackeys a show of awesome force, then arbitrarily burn down the headquarters of _Gundara Times_ and keep an iron fist on independent media for the next two hundred years or so to _remind_ them the consequences of even thinking about laughing at their boss."

"You mean re-establish an autocratic dictatorship?"

Yomi nastily grinned, and everyone felt their shadows fleeing for cover. "Exactly."

"I can't believe Gon gave you that inspiration," Killua muttered.

"Oh, he did, you bet he did. Gentlemen, boys, now you understand why some whacky looney approached you today. Don't let any other nutcase tell you that what happened today was gawd's plan to reveal to you some even more authoritarian regime that he thinks he's got planned for you in the afterlife. This happened because somewhere, in another dimension you'd have never envisaged even in a drug-induced vision, a demon was feeling bitchy, extorted her theoretical superior to don on a stupid costume, and decide to take up a few minutes of your time today. And now, with Gon's wonderful exhortations to stay away from retreating to our imagination to block out the unpleasantries of life, my life, I will be heading off home to throw out the trash that I should have done five decades ago."

Leorio hesitated, but managed to ask, "What _will_ you do to Azile?"

"I've always wanted to stick her head on a pike and wave it on my battlements to enforce the idea that I'm the invincible Overlord of Greater Makai. Now, I must be off. Carry on with your day. Feel free to forget that I, the Overlord of Makai, ever came to you in a rubber mask and white robes preaching hate, intolerance and preying on your vulnerabilities. That, my temporary acquaintances, had to be the biggest and most shameful stain of my life."

And with that, Yomi was gone in a flash, leaving the four Hunter characters to scratch their heads as they stared at the remnants of the decimated rubber mask and shreds of white robe discarded uncaringly on the grass.

"Gon, exactly _what_ did you say to Geezus?"

"I didn't tell him to kill people and set fire to buildings! Honest!"

* * *

Yomi tore down half of his massive private quarters at Gundara to hunt down Azile and kill her. The unceasing lightening that flicked in the Makai sky paled in comparison to his youki that was unleashed at full fury and licked the lining of the clouds. The entire Gundara was rocked to its very foundations, and a spear of cold ice struck the hearts of all youkai as they trembled in the face of Yomi's show of awesome force. Before Azile slipped from his grasp, he smelt real fear exuding from her sweat and had perhaps deliberately allowed her to escape. He wanted her to live with the constant fear that he was relentlessly searching for her to hunt her down like a cornered rat. He hoped that she wouldn't be able to sleep for the next few decades, afraid of her own shadow, jumping at the slightest sounds of the secret assassins that he will send after her. He anticipated that in a hundred year's time, he will have her head stuck on that pike that he could wave on the battlements.

As for Gundara Times, Yomi replaced the head editor, installed a compliant and submissive puppet and forgot that said compromising pictures of him ever existed.

And besides – he probably looked good in those pictures anyway, and could easily make the centrefold of any female targeted magazine.

Yomi sat in his black leather executive armchair with the latest edition of Gundara Times and smiled with content.

Life was good.

* * *

****

**Author's Notes End:** And so this fanfic finally comes to its last chapter. Much has been said, but evidently not a lot absorbed, especially by a pretentious, self-righteous lot whose essence is the pure distillation of hypocrisy yet disclaim it. "I will stop judging, but you are a sinner nonetheless" – how trite, what rubbish, filthy hypocrisy. The fanfic was all about capturing this type of behaviour, ridiculing yet, demeaning it, yet it seems to have completely gone over people's heads. If anyone were to ever construct a case that humans do practice selective vision, this fanfic, and the select replies in this review board, would provide ample evidence.

DW-chan, as much as I respect the insightfulness of your review, it does your argument no favours to disown from the Christian faith anyone who doesn't live to your expectations of Christianity. They are clearly Christian, and as pointed out by Cassavar, Beatrice Ang, formerly known as 'passerby' and re-modelled into the highly paradoxical "logic", speaks for the faith yet cannot show us how to lead life of greater happiness and instead coerces us, using fear, to become subjugated to a god who, what I emphatically believe, has anger management problems and quite a lot of sin as compared to _my_ standards. I could continue to put up the defence that it's only the Cult of Kristianity that embodies all these 'negative' and 'corrupt' traits, but what is presented on my review board alone tries to make me look like I'm lying.

Hands down – any god that shakes his fist demanding to be worshipped or else we will be burnt for all eternity rightly deserves to be dismissed, laughed at and ignored. I believe they call these people 'dictators' today with a miserable to non-existent track record on human rights and are consequently hauled off to the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity. After Beatrice's bout of plagiarism, of sicing her bully of a god on us if we refuse to submit, reminded me of the Chinese Cultural Revolution, and has led me to conclude that the current day Communist Ruling Party of China is a more benign and democratic institution than the wonderful Christian faith. I did not want to travel down this path, and have stripped similar content out of Gon's dialogue, but if I'm addressed, and I presume I fall into the category of 'people who support this fanfic', and am asked why I don't want to believe in your Christian god and would write this fanfic, I will honestly give you my answer.

I am atheist in name but I don't deny that there is a lot of philosophy in Chinese Buddhism and Daosim (if anyone can properly separate the difference given how both seem to have borrowed and leached off each other for the past two thousand years) that I can only ardently agree with. Incidentally, they stand in sharp contradistinction with the monolithic nature of _any_ religion which claims to be the one and only one and utilizes fear to cultivate belief. Rather than cloak ourselves with superficial self-importance, for that's the _only_ kind of vibe I've received from these 'good' Christians on my review board, Buddha never tried to assert there was some divine being who created this world and had to be worshiped on penalty of eternal burning, for he rightly stated that humans were just another species in line of the long chain of evolving life-form on this planet. This, over two thousand years before Darwin.

Going back to the monotheistic problem, the idea of compassion that these 'good' Christians practice apparently cannot extend past their exclusive little elitist club, whereas Buddha held all life to be sacred, even those of insects and animals, whilst gung-ho Christians and their Hitler-esque god burnt people at the stake and went to war and killed the most in all living history. Modern day fundamentalists would like to go to the fanfic review board of atheist authors and tell them that they're sinners, send them descriptions of hell by plagiarizing the Bible, then patronizingly and condescendingly treat us as if we're scum and they're fabulous shit. If there _has_ to be only one god in this world, it would be one who _truly_ understands what compassion means, and which is not conditional upon something as fickle and superficial as belief that the false pretender tries to assert is a 'god'. If there _has_ to be one god in this world who wields justice, then it would know how to judge people by character, not their beliefs, and punish deeds, not thoughts, and punish only to teach, not to torture and vent some infantile and immature rage. Is this kind of justice reflected in Beatrice's, I mean, Logic's, portrayal of Christianity? Fuck no. The only kind of justice that I've been shown in Christianity by these dutiful, 'good' Christians, is that 'might makes right' – because god is apparently so goddamn powerful he can do whatever he wants with your soul you see, so if you don't do as he says, not that what you were doing was hurting anyone or wrong in the eyes of half the world, he's going to make you suffer anyway. Gees, if civilized humans are repulsed by that, you wonder exactly what kind of moral fibre this Christian god truly has if it thinks it can kill and torture us for not believing. And then you want to wonder whether such inhuman and vile despots can be overthrown so we can establish a better god who won't throw us to the fiery pits merely because we choose to have our own state of mind. I'd nominate Buddha, but he never let the power get to his head that he could be something more and remained human instead.

If these 'good' Christians on my review board wish to convince me of the existence of their god, show me that crystal of wisdom that will endure the times and will not need to be changed or reinterpreted. As it stands, the Bible, the authority of the Christian faith, is frighteningly fascist and dictatorial on a literal interpretation, brimming with gross hatred, condones violence, hideously sexist against women and embodies the divisive 'them versus us' mentality (for the end product – please observe Logic's review), whereas a liberal interpretation can only be justified on the grounds that the message in the bible would otherwise be inapplicable to modern times.

How pathetic. Your omnipotent and magnanimous god could not see a mere two thousand years into the future to see how humanity will develop hence decree a faith that does not need to undergo metamorphosis in order to remain relevant?! Your god is that short-sighted and weak? Your god has absolutely no clue how to function in a democratic society of diverging values, universal human rights and peaceful-coexistence?

It appears that a great number of human philosophers had more wit, eloquence and intelligence than your false god, the self-same god who has no capacity to judge humans on their character and deeds, only on whether they have faith. Are your god's powers really _that_ limited? Is your god's idea of justice so terribly restricted and short-sighted and has no accord with the modern perception of justice?

Persecute us with your words and condemnations if you must, but judgement lies in the heart of each person, and conscience is who we sleep with at night. Wasting your life by falling for primitive mind control cults is your prerogative – just don't come aknocking on my door and blaming me for having wasted so much of your life and killed so much of your individual thought when one day, you come to realize that our lives are not exalted above animals and that when we die, we merely decay, rot and become part of nature once again. Enlightened are those who understand this simple concept – pitiable are those who are trapped in a diabolical story of fear and retribution. Seek professional help.


End file.
